December 15, 2016 - 10:16
Slippage: The Stubborned Mind
Slippage has happened to you. Slippage has happened to me. In fact, slippage has happened to every single individual in some point of its life. Slippage may be a word, an action, or a single subconscious thought. It may be so trivial a slippage that the person who slips does not even realize it. But the harm of slippage is real.
What is slippage, then? Slippage is the involuntary behavior that reveals the subconscious mind of ours, and it is always offensive. In another word, slippage can be seen as one of the truest response someone has towards something. This unintended offensive response originatesfrom our ignorance and refusal to understand. This unintended offensive response reaffirms the imaginary gap between people. This unintended offensive response creates gap.
There is an instance in Jordan’s article Report from The Bahamas where this claim is supported. When Jordan encountered the white Jewish boy, they were at first having a great conversation until the Jewish boy slipped. “He does not need financial help outside of his family.”(Jordan 43) As soon as the Jewish boy said this, Jordan stepped away from him, because it was a slippage. The Jewish boy was unaware of the financial situation in Jordan’s family, nor had him paid attention to Jordan’s pride as a mother. He was not saying so intentionally, and he probably did not realize how harmful his word was to Jordan. As the consequence, Jordan stepped away from him, thinking they have already “moved away from each other”. Had the Jewish boy known better, he would not have said so, nor would he harm Jordan. They might have been good friends had it not be because his ignorance and slippage.
The same happened between Jordan and her graduate student. “ ‘You have a cause. You have a purpose of your life.’ … ‘Poverty. Police violence. Discrimination in general.’ ‘Me? I’m just a middle aged woman: a housewife and a mother. I’m nobody.’(Jordan, 43) ” Jordan did not take those words as compliment, even though the women meant to praise her.
This, again, was a slippage. The graduate student was unaware of the situation Jordan was in, unaware of what kind of life she actually lived, but only judged Jordan from her own perspective. She imaged a life for Jordan, chose not to think whether Jordan’s life was actually the kind of life she assumed it was.
This is slippage. When we only understood our side of the story, but refuse to understand the other side of the story, we slip. The Jewish boy knew his story well, he well understood what it is like to be economically well off; however, he did not try to understand how Jordan, who was comparatively less wealthy, was experiencing. The graduate student was not trying to understand Jordan’s suffering as well; she only focused on her own frustrations. In our daily life, racist jokes are also examples where slippages originated from refusing to understand the other side of the story. When one assumes somebody else must be a math major because she is an Asian, he is only understanding his side of the story that the tag “Asians” is linked to “good at math”, but ignores her side of story as an individual. When one assumes every Jewish is rich, one is only understanding his/herside of the story that he/she has heard most successful merchants are Jewish, not taking into consideration that each Jewish individual has his own identity and own struggles in making a life.
This is slippage. Slippage is originated from our differences, and slippage is exaggerating our difference. Again, take the Jewish boy as an example: because he slipped, Jordan thought there was an unovercomable difference between them that they have to step away from each other. When Jordan used the word “difference,” however, what she felt might not be an actual “difference” —— she might be feeling the “not understanding.” By the word difference, Jordan was conveying her sense of gap between the Jewish boy and herself when the Jewish boy showed that he was not considering her financial situation. Because slippage is originated from the rejection of understand the difference, it is creating a larger gap between people. Had the Jewish boy not slipped, Jordan would not have felt the “difference.” The two of them might find more similarity from each other than they would actually find themselves “different.”
Therefore, there is a circular relationship between slippages and differences. The actual differences in people’s background create different understanding of the same world. When people only understand their own story, they slip. When they slip, those who they hurt realize the difference between “they” and “us”, hence gap is created. Gap in term creates even more misunderstanding that leads to more slippages.
The bad thing about a cycle is that it gets worse; the good thing about a cycle is that if one component in this cycle is broke, the cycle would disappear. This slippage-gap cycle is not a hard one to break: it only takes two steps. One, the one being offended tell the person who slipped: “I was not feeling comfortable by that.” Two, the person who slipped ask: “Can you explain why it makes you uncomfortable?” After these two steps, instead of being pushed apart from each other, the two people will feel closer rather than further, because now they start to understand each other’s story.
Communication is always the key. What else do we need our mouths for?
Jordan, June. “Report from the Bahamas, 1982." Meridians 3, 2 (2003): 6-16.