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Self Evaluation and Reflection

EmmaP's picture
 

Dear Jody,

While reflecting on my experiences in this course, I kept coming back to one central theme. The things I disliked the most while I was doing them turned out to be some of the most valuable things I did. The first example that comes to mind is the weekly 3-page paper I had to write. I consider myself to be someone who enjoys writing, but actually, what I really like is having written something. When it comes to actually sitting down and putting words on a page, I tend to procrastinate it as long as possible. I like creative writing, in theory, but I can never make myself actually do it. The experience of having to write a paper every week, in addition to the Monday postings, helped chip away at that reluctance a little bit. Just being in the habit of having to write something every couple days has made it easier for me to get myself to write even when it isn’t an assignment due in a few hours. I saw the same thing happen with reading. I’ve been an avid reader my whole life, but as I’ve gotten older and schoolwork has taken up more of my time, I haven’t been as diligent about setting aside time in my day to read for fun. I also have a habit of rereading the same books several times, which can sometimes produce new insights but oftentimes just keeps me squarely in my comfort zone. Reading new articles, essays, and books for this course has helped me expand my literary interests and reminded me why I pick up new books in the first place.

I don’t want to give the impression that this course didn’t provoke interesting discussions or lead to new insights for me, because it absolutely did. But I was fortunate enough to have several classes in high school that were also able to do that, so that isn’t what stands out the most. Having to read and write new things on a regular basis, however, was something that high school didn’t encourage me to do. They would give us weeks to read books that you would have us finish in days and had us write essays only sporadically. I enjoyed those classes, but they didn’t push me the way that this course did. Additionally, I found the writing conferences and opportunities to revise papers to be extremely valuable. In high school, teachers would leave comments on our work, but would give very few chances to go back and use that feedback to improve it. We were expected to keep moving forward, and as a result, I rarely revisited old essays, even ones that I was particularly proud of. Our writing conferences led me to expand on ideas that would have otherwise be forgotten, and to take papers that I may have rushed to finish and give them the time and effort they deserve.

This course also pushed me to explore my relationship to the environment in a way I had avoided doing so in the past. I had a certain stereotype in my mind about the kind of person who spends all that time reading and talking about the environment. Sure, I recycled things pretty often and got angry when people denied climate change. But my negative perception of people who devote their lives to environmentalism kept me from really exploring the way it manifested in my life or thinking critically about ways in which we can make a difference. Reading The Collapse of Western Civilization and As the World Burns, and discussing them in depth with classmates made me rethink my previous ideas. The way climate change was framed as being perpetuated by our governments, corporations, and comfort with our way of life, instead of by individuals who take long showers and throw away cardboard, made so much sense to me. I had felt the frustration of being blamed for something so beyond my control before I came here, but this course helped me put it into words and consider ways in which I could actually make a difference.

I think the main thing I’m going to carry with me from this course is the importance of embracing contact zones, and the discomfort that comes with them. It’s very hard to learn something new from within your comfort zone, but I’ve really never been as motivated to leave it as I am now. I’m going to try to lean into discomfort more often, since my experiences in this course have taught me that’s how I can grow as a student, citizen, and friend. Thank you for making me a part of this contact zone.

Sincerely,

Emma Pinsky