Taylor Milne's blog

            When Zadie Smith came to speak at Bryn Mawr, she discussed how we as people are able to view others and see who they are as a person, but when we look back on ourselves, we are unable to place who we are as a person, which can be frustrating and disconcerting to those who are unable to accept this as a general fact of existing. This struggle with identity can be seen in Zadie Smith’s novel NW, through the characterization of Keisha/Natalie, who throughout the novel battles with who she is as a person, who she wants to be, and how she wants others to view her. Keisha’s battles with her identity stem from her shame in coming from a working class family in north west London, leading her to change her name in order to leave her previous life behind and start anew, however, the new Natalie is never able to leave Keisha behind. Another identity crisis that Natalie struggles with is her obsession with needing to create identity that she can see, and that others can look up to, rather than accepting who she is as an individual. Throughout her childhood, we are able to see both Keisha’s mimicking of people who are more privileged than herself, and also her desire to move into a higher social class. She has grown up trying to become the ideal person that she has formed based on her perceptions of other people and what she views as fitting for a successful life, and she unsuccessfully does this by taking fragmented bits of wealthier peoples lives and attempting to create a life of her own.

Between the discussion we had in class and after re-reading my paper, I have decided that I would like to narrow in and shift my focus onto how Keisha/Natalie’s upbringing and socioeconomic background influenced her identity crisis, rather than just an accumulation of all the possible causes of her crisis. I plan on tightening my very long introduction and body paragraphs that relate to my new narrower lens. I then plan on finding more textual evidence as well as additional research to write new paragraphs that reflect my interest in Keisha/Natalie and her transformation, and how that relates to her socioeconomic status. 

            When Zadie Smith came to speak at Bryn Mawr, she discussed how we as people are able to view others and see who they are as a person, but when we look back on ourselves, we are unable to place who we are as a person, which can be frustrating and disconcerting to those who are unable to accept this as a general fact of existing. This struggle with identity can be seen in Zadie Smith’s novel NW, through the characterization of Keisha/Natalie, who throughout the novel battles with who she is as a person, who she wants to be, and how she wants others to view her. Keisha’s first battle with her identity develops from her being ashamed by her background in the low-income area of north west London, where her decision to change her name is representative of wanting to leave her previous life behind and start anew, however, the new Natalie is never able to leave Keisha behind. Another identity crisis that Natalie struggles with is her need to create an identity that she can see, rather than being content with who she is as an individual. She has grown up trying to become the ideal model of a person that she has created based on her perceptions of other people and what she views as fitting for a successful life, and she unsuccessfully does this by taking fragmented bits of other peoples lives and trying to build a life of her own.

As I was reading NW, I found myself most invested with the character and storyline of Keisha/Natalie. I felt that the discontinuity and split personality of Keisha/Natalie mimicked the structure of the novel NW, which I also saw as a unit that did not have any clear direction, or a real sense of what it was. I would like to take a deeper look into how Keisha/Natalie’s different identities interact, and how although Natalie desperately tries to escape where she is from and her background, Keisha is still always with her. I would also like to see how the structure of her section of the novel is reminiscent of the structure of her life and the novel as a whole, but I think that may be too much to do well and fit into a three-page paper.

            I have always believed that play is one of the most important aspects of humanity due to the creativity that is ultimately involved in playing. Due to my strong belief in the benefits of playing, I am disturbed by schools that teach people how to work, while diminishing their ability to play creatively. After four years of traditional high school focused on working, I was greatly intrigued by this Emily Balch Seminar when I read its synopsis. I thought this class would be so unique and would give me a creative way to learn about this new city that I was moving near, but had only visited twice. I was initially interested by the idea of analyzing different states of play, and being able to play myself, the trips into Philadelphia just happened to be a perk to me.

            After the class began, I was pleasantly surprised by Mark Lord’s teaching style, and his general belief that that everyone has important individual thoughts and there is no “wrong answer.” This initially first pushed me out of my comfort zone of what a class conversation could entail, as I was no longer looking for the answer that the teacher or text book believed was right, but was instead looking for the answer that was most correct to me as an individual. Already without even beginning to “play” I was able to feel the outlets of creativity within the class opening, even in just the general opening conversations we had.

            Although there are many aspects of “playing,” one of the most common representations of being in a “state of play” resides around games and how one “plays a game.” When thinking of playing games, one may think of a board game or a sport, but through the discussions in class and my trips into the city I began to wonder if things such as experiencing a city, or creating art, could also be characterized as playing a game. In Critical Play, Flanagan describes games through the interpretation of Greg Costikyan as an act that is ever changing and is not dependent on a universal set of rules, “Games are inherently non-linear. They depend on decision-making. Decisions have to pose real, plausible alternatives, or they aren't real decisions. It must be entirely reasonable for a player to make a decision one way in one game, and a different way in the next. To the degree that you make a game more like a story--more linear, fewer real options--you make it less like a game.” (7) Based on this definition of play, it appears that anything that involves choice can be distinguished as a game, and that a game that follows the same pattern every time loses its ability to be played. Out of all of the different definitions of play that are presented in Critical Play, I agree most with this view that was shown by Costikyan because it is the one that is most open to each person’s own interpretation of what a game is.

Stop 1: Article "Too Bean or Not Too Bean" - I love coffee, and I am tired, so I was intrigued.

Stop 2: http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2013/04/04/philadelphia-coffee-shop-takes-1-spot-on-americas-best-coffee-list/ - It turns out that Philadelphia houses the best coffee shop in the US, so of course I had to click the link.

Stop 3: http://www.thedailymeal.com/americas-best-coffee-shops It is defined here as the best, but there was also indications of other best coffee shops that are also in Philly, so I chose to look at all of the rankings.

Stop 4: http://www.thedailymeal.com/americas-best-coffee-shops-slideshow Here Ultimo Coffee is listed as #1, however I was very excited to find that my favorite Coffee Shop in my hometown of Santa Cruz, Ca was listed as #22!

Stop 5: http://ultimocoffee.com The website of Ultimo Coffee in order to find the hours and transportation information.

            When I stepped onto South Street I immediately felt aspects of my home coming back to me, the quirky atmosphere, interesting shops and coffee houses, and art lining the streets. I felt connected to South Street, to the gardens, to the food. Everything connected me to the play and to the experience of travelling through South Philadelphia. The streets created the perfect board for the game I was about to find myself in known as experiencing a city.

            As a player in the game, my main goal was to find as many mosaics as possible throughout the city, with no rules attached expect to have fun and observe city life on South Street, and the surrounding grid of streets, homes, and artwork. Flanagan describes games as “inherently non-liner,” and this is how I felt my game on South Street managed to play out.

From the Flanagan article I chose to research Atsuko Tanaka, who revolutionized the meaning of play with her Electric Dress which was designed as a cross between a traditional kimono and the new age of technology. It was a full body dress with hundreds of light bulbs in primary colors that would light her up and “blink like fireworks.” This piece spoke to me because it not only took the art form of fashion, but it also was influential in the new wave movement of technology, as it was created in the year 1956, and she would then wear her creation to various exhibitions over the years, expressing her playfulness and imagination.