Leah's Self Portrait

My portrait only contains part of my body because a full portrait felt too whole, too complete. A full face or full body portrait would feel like a lie. I focused on my ear because I felt self-conscious taking a photograph of my lips- a portrait focusing on them seemed too easy to misconstrue- and, aside from my inability to speak, my propensity towards wearing headphones is probably the most physically characteristic thing about me. At this point in my life, perhaps less than ten percent of those I interact with on a regular basis have seen me without my headphones. That feels important, somehow. The covering, the masking, the “this is how you see me, but it isn’t who I am.” I don’t know how to create an accurate representation of myself without shattering it. That sort of brokenness, that disconnect feels integral to who I am. As does the empty-not-emptiness. The black area in the center which is not my ear but my brain, the space where there is so much fraying. Lost connections abound, emptiness crowded out. It’s not quite as cluttered as it ought to be, but I took some artistic licence, which I presume I’m allowed. So much is missing. In this portrait, in my life, so much of who I am and how I think of myself is disjointed. I did my best to represent that.