September 15, 2014 - 16:45
I think that we often speak in black and white, but truthfully there is a much more complex gray area. I understand that not everyone can empathize with each other because we all come from different backgrounds, different social structures, different homes, but that does not mean we cannot sympathize with another person's story. I might not be able to relate to someone's experience, but does that mean I have no right to hear it or that the story teller nor I will gain anything from sharing his or her truth. Is relating the ultimate goal?
Empathy is extremely important. There is of course a deeper level that people can connect on when they have similar interests, childhoods, daily routines, and pasts. There is a comfort and openness that comes when two people think they know or "understand" where each person is coming from. Maybe this is a question that does not need to be answered, but I definitely ponder it quite often and that is what is more consequential, one's background or one's interests, values, concerns, principles? Yes, often these can go hand-in-hand, but sometimes they do not. What do we do when they conflict?
What about the knowledge one gains from listening to that story? Are there not insights one can gain from listening to someone else's perspective? Am I not allowed to hear about someone's past because it is not my own?
Though I agree that values, principles, morals, interests, and hobbies might separate people, why do race, class, and gender also have to? We live in world of stratification where one's opportunities are unfortunately based on these categories. Though I understand the fear and mistrust of different races, sexes, classes, and religions, why must this dictate who our friends, our lovers, our heroes? Why is there not more interweaving?
Yes, I know. The truth is I'm an upper class, white, stereotypical college student, but I am angry. I am upset that I represent oppression and that I can't "relate." I don't know everyone's or hardly anyone's experience, story, history, background, but I am curious and I want to connect with people who do not share my narrative.
I read this article this summer about fighting white privilege. It said that the first step for us “whities” was to "shut up" and sit down, to listen. Maybe that's the answer.
Link to article about White Privilege: http://www.tolerance.org/magazine/number-42-fall-2012/feature/confronting-white-privilege