February 5, 2019 - 10:29
When I was reading the link on access intimacy I kept thinking how we live in a world that is "meant for the able bodied." That is something that is evident in the infrastructure of our buildings, the curriculum of ours schools, and the criteria for job positions, among many other factors. In such an abled bodied world I can't help but think about how much intimacy and interpersonal relations may matter when all else in the world seems to be operating against the disabled. I haven't found a way to articulate it comletely, but I will try my best. Something as simple as the glance you give someone may mean nothing to the "able bodied" but mean ten times more to the "differently abled." Specifically I was thinking back to when I was working at camp over the summer. The camp had a variety of children that all came from backgrounds of poverty, abuse, and disability. One of my campers I worked with had a mental disability and I kept thinking about how much the language that was used mattered to him, even as a nine year old. It seemed like he was abled to tell the difference in treatment among campers and among counselors. He was able to tell the difference between false and real intimacy. You can not fake intimacy and interpersonal connection. It is something that as a society we don't ponder about immensly on a daily basis but to others it means so much more.
Comments
I think I understand what you
Submitted by fran on February 12, 2019 - 19:10 Permalink
I think I understand what you are talking about and appreciate you bringing it up. Forgive me if I have misinterpreted what you wrote, but the way I read it, you are calling attention to how hegemonic systems exist everywhere, even within the minds of even those who would like to pretend they are free of bias, but that as a society we ignore their pervasive nature as to avoid accepting a non-neutral role as it relates to oppression. In other words, the physical, legal, economic and social structures that marginalize communities are not only external, but permeate the thoughts and actions of everyone who lives within them. It is overwhelming to realize that reflexive responses we have thought of as neutral (or simply never considered) are rooted in and contribute to "othering", precisely because it shows the incredible magnitude and
Reading your discussion of intimacy and your experience as a camp counsellor reminded me of the difference between "allyship" and "accompliceship". This is a concept I was introduced to in another class, and differentiates between supporting someone as they exist within a system and supporting them in dismantling that system. Unlike allyship, which relatively simply requires being decent on a personal level, accompliship involves appreciating the contexts of power that disenfranchise people, and then supporting someone in dismantling system which oppresses them. Accompliship requires risking the privilege one has been afforded by a system to create (or join) space outside it; a space I believe is vital to creating "true intimacy".
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Submitted by fran on February 12, 2019 - 19:15 Permalink
Sorry I did not finish the last sentence of the first paragraph! I meant to say "It is overwhelming to realize that reflexive responses we have thought of as neutral (or simply never considered) are rooted in and contribute to "othering", precisely because it shows the incredible magnitude and salience of marginalizing systems"