Postcard: Assumptions About My Volunteering at the CFCF

As I come towards the end of my semester, the pressures and time constraints of my daily life have only amplified in their intensity. One aspect of my schedule that has remained a very consistent, high intensity endeavor every week has been tutoring at the Curran-Fromhold Correctional Facility. As I described earlier this semester, there is a heavy amount of turnover within the class that I help out in. This turnover has made it difficult to form relationships with, or tailor any tutoring styles I might be able to utilize to the individuals I am working with. However, another difficulty I have come into contact with a lot each week is a heavy amount of negative assumptions that are made about me and my volunteering in the class.

Almost every week, I am helping with a new student in a one on one setting. The question always comes up about whether or not I am doing this for credit in a class. Yet, it is not usually phrased as a question about whether or not I am getting credit, it is usually assumed and they want to know what course it is, or simply jump right into whether I feel any sense of while guilt or burden in coming into the CFCF. What is shocking is that , upon hearing that I have chosen to be there of my own accord, I have seen many of the students that I perceived as irritated by my presence shift their attitudes completely. Once they learn this simple fact, all of their hostile feelings and actions dissipate for the rest of the time I am there with them. The stark contrast in the way I am treated at the beginning of my visit each week to when I leave is both astounding and draining. It is clear that I am capable of making progress, but with so many students fighting court cases that end while they are enrolled in the class, people testing out and into the program on a two week basis, and the fact that I am assigned to a different student every week makes any change I may be making absolutely invisible. As a person who has the privilege of assuming the role of one who can empower others, I have found that it is important to recognize and find a way to be comfortable in this lack of fulfillment. Results, in attempting to help someone on their way towards self-empowerment, may never appear. Being able to find a way to motivate and work within this reality is critical to supporting others as they progress towards fulfillment.