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Access Intimacy in Unexpected Times

cds6's picture

In my life, access intimacy is something that has been hard won, organic or at times even felt magical.  It has taken me by surprise, showing up with people that I never would have expected to have that kind of “access connection” with.  It has been exciting and relieving, like a long slow exhale.  I don’t know where it comes from or how it happens.  It has felt like an unspoken, instinctual language between different people, like an entirely unique way of being able to communicate and connect.  Similar to meeting someone you just “click with,” access intimacy has felt like a distinct form of attraction, desire and energy on to itself. -- passage from access intimacy'

I really appreciated the way in which the author puts actual names to the different types of intimacy they have experienced in their life. It first established and gave intimacy nuance and a depth I had never really seen before or been able to pinpoint for myself. I feel the most memorable and almost magical experience with access intimacy was when I was in the trainers room rehabbing my freshly operated on knee. Halfway through my very emotional first session with the physical therapist, I was going through all the emotions: pride, determination, physical and mental pain,  helplessness, and extreme disappointment. In walked another knee surgery person -- appearance wise, looked like the same exact surgery I had done. They awkwardly maneuvered their leg onto the table and just sat heavily breathing for a bit. Those moments of me observing their behavior and truly relating to it(literally 30 minutes prior), I felt access intimacy. There wasn't much said between us in this first meeting, but now, I continue to say hi and greet this person around campus. Having the same exact timeline, going through the same exact experience offered me a companionship born out of access intimacy, something completely unexpected. While my friends have offered me support and care all along the way, having this person to check in with on a level where I didn't need to explain my recent obstacles, give an update on the pain level, or even the way my leg looked was tremendous help to my recovery and literally getting back up on my feet.