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Lonely Madness: The Effects of Solitary Confinement and Social Isolation on Mental and Emotional Health
Biology 202, Spring 2005
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Lonely Madness: The Effects of Solitary Confinement and Social Isolation on Mental and Emotional Health
Carly Frintner
By Carly Frintner
Paper #3 for Neurobiology and Behavior, Spring 2005
Professor Paul Grobstein
I began to research the effects of solitary confinement on prisoners' behavior while thinking about the ways in which we isolate ourselves from others, or are isolated by others in our daily lives. I cherish and am very protective of my own chosen moments of solitude, but I also know that long periods of time alone can send me into a depressive state, or make me feel like I'm going crazy. More specifically, a kind of panic sets in when I realize I'm alone with my thoughts with no one to affirm or deny the validity of what I'm thinking. When I'm by myself for too long, I start to question my own understanding of reality—of who I really am and what the world is really like. I need interactions with other people because they are such a significant part of how I understand and enjoy my life and my reason for living. All people seem to depend on varying amounts and intensities of social interaction to keep them happy, stable, and sane. This is not surprising given that human beings are social animals by nature.
Human beings are also naturally curious. Drastically reducing the amount of "normal social interaction, of reasonable mental stimulus, of exposure to the natural world, of almost everything that makes life human and bearable, is emotionally, physically, and psychologically destructive" (2) because it denies us the ability to ask questions and seek reasons and information to form explanations that allow us to understand ourselves as well as our world and our place and purpose in the world. It is logical that we feel less stable and secure overall when the things that our brain and body rely on to connect to and understand our surroundings are taken away from us.
In class, we have occasionally discussed how we check in with other people to get an understanding of ourselves. In one extreme example, we recalled a final scene of the movie "A Beautiful Mind" in which Professor John Nash asked a student to verify that there was a man standing there talking to him. Because Nash's schizophrenia often caused him to hallucinate, he relied on other people to assure him what he was seeing was not just his own reality, but the reality of the world (including other people). We all do this to a certain degree, though probably to check much less subtle information than whether a person is or is not actually a hallucination.
Out of the more than 20,000 prisoners in the United States, about 2% are currently living in "super maximum security ("supermax") facilities or units. Prisoners in these facilities typically spend their waking and sleeping hours locked in small, sometimes windowless, cells sealed with solid steel doors. A few times a week they are let out for showers and solitary exercise in a small, enclosed space. Supermax prisoners have almost no access to educational or recreational activities or other sources of mental stimulation and are usually handcuffed, shackled and escorted by two or three correctional officers every time they leave their cells. Assignment to supermax housing is usually for an indefinite period that may continue for years." (2)
I have sometimes gone for hours and even days with very minimal human contact. As a result, I experienced anxiety, depression, and a feeling of being disconnected from the world around me, even though I had complete freedom to go wherever I wanted. Prisoners who are isolated for prolonged periods of time have been known to experience "depression, despair, anxiety, rage, claustrophobia, hallucinations, problems with impulse control, and/or an impaired ability to think, concentrate, or remember." (2) Studies have also shown that isolation can cause "impaired vision and hearing... tinnitus [(ringing in the ears)], weakening of the immune system, amenorrhea [(absence of menstrual periods in women)], premature menopause... and aggressive behavior in prisoners, volunteers and animals." (1)
Previously healthy prisoners have "develop[ed] clinical symptoms usually associated with psychosis or severe affective disorders" (2) including "all types of psychiatric morbidity." (4) Many have committed suicide.
Individuals do vary in how well they can deal with living in isolation, however. (4) For prisoners with pre-existing mental or emotional disorders, living without normal human interaction, physical and mental activity and stimulation can aggravate their symptoms to levels equivalent to torture. (2), (3) In one complaint filed against the Connecticut Department of Correction in August 2003, social isolation and sensory deprivation drove some prisoners to "lash out by swallowing razors, smashing their heads into walls or cutting their flesh." (3)
It is difficult if not impossible to pinpoint the exact reasons why social isolation and sensory deprivation in solitary confinement situations causes mental and emotional breakdown in prisoners. However, in addition to the stimuli and interactions they are denied, we might also consider how people's minds are affected by others controlling every aspect of their lives, from where they are and how long they will be there to how much food they get and when, to light and noise levels, to what possessions they are allowed to have, to when or if their clothes, bedding and rooms are cleaned, to when and if they get to have fresh air.
How does the absolute denial of freedom, the denial of any kind of personal power or influence over one's life, affect the way he thinks, feels and acts? Certainly the impact is different for each person. But are there patterns across cultures and time in how slaves, prisoners, people living under a dictator, and children grounded by their parents react similarly to the denial of freedom? Are the patterns in reactions solely human, or do they extend to other animals, for instance, animals that are caged or otherwise restricted in pet stores, zoos or circuses? Do all animals, including human beings, feel and understand injustice on some level and therefore react to it similarly? Or are humans reduced to more stereotypically animalistic behavior when they are trapped and controlled? "In some states, the conditions are so extreme-e.g., lack of windows, denial of reading material, a maximum of three hours a week out-of-cell time, lack of outdoor recreation-that they can only be explained as reflecting an unwillingness to acknowledge the inmates' basic humanity." (2) Can people retain their humanity without the constant affirmation of their humanity through positive contact with other human beings? How do human beings' behaviors and thought processes shift when the human beings around them refuse to accept their shared humanity?
I am thinking more about the brain's needs based on my research on this particular topic. The physical, mental and emotional effects of living in solitary confinement seem to be beyond the control of the person experiencing them. It seems that the brain needs a certain quantity, quality, or type of stimuli to help regulate, direct and prioritize thought processes and other brain functions properly. It could mean that without certain (or enough) stimuli, the level of random activity in the nervous system increases—such as brain activity that causes hallucinations.
When inputs are all coming from the same place, parts of the unconscious experience the same inputted information differently because they are all interpreting the information with different randomness. The randomness helps us make connections between sets of inputted information and our own prior knowledge to ultimately create a story that explains our situation and surroundings. This story informs the "I"-function, which allows us to experience and understand the situation/surroundings personally. (5)
In an environment with very minimal stimulation, such as a prison cell, the randomness with which the unconscious explores the environment continues, although it is unclear whether randomization increases when fewer stimuli are reaching the brain. Perhaps the brain attempts to compensate for stimuli it is missing by creating stimuli of its own, that is, by increasing random activity. Either way, when the brain is not receiving much input from the environment, there is little information based in reality that the unconscious can focus on or try to interpret. The story reported back to the "I"-function is more likely informed by more random connections than real facts about reality because reality is not offering enough stimuli to make a coherent story. This helps explain why people often experience mental and emotional breakdowns and psychotic episodes when in solitary confinement for extended periods of time.
References
1)F-Type Isolation Prisons in Turkey
2)Supermax Prisons: An Overview
3)Lawsuits Attack Isolated Prison Conditions for Mentally Ill , Mental Health Law Weekly; Prison Health. April 2, 2005.
4)Isolation and Mental Health, NHS National Electronic Library for Health.
5) The Brain's Images: Co-Constructing Reality and Self , Paul Grobstein. May 2002. (And conversation May 2005.)
6) Isolation, Breakdowns and Mysterious Injections. , Vikram Dodd, Richard Norton-Taylor and Rosie Cowan. January 26, 2005. From The Guardian (UK), via Common Dreams News Center.
7) Mental Issues in Long-Term Solitary and "Supermax" Confinement., Craig Haney.
Comments made prior to 2007
If mankind can be identified as a social animal, it seems absolute that involuntary social isolation from whatever source can be deemed cruel and unusual punishment, whether in a home under a parent, spouse, in a work environment with overly regimented rules that ignore human needs, or in institutional settings where what is seen, heard, felt, etc. is all controlled by someone else. To be sure, it isn't autonomy, and one would expect that adverse physiological and mental effects would be the outcome of that environment. Consider for example, the isolation of girls or boys in trafficking or prostitution where they are not allowed out at all.
Much different from self imposed isolation, but perhaps not free from ill effects; consider the Howard Hughes case where fear prevented him from social engagement.
In theory, the principle of R&R for the military is to reduce the high intensity concentration of rigid over-regimentation that is required in wars, and therefore, requires some consideration of the human features of physical and mental requirements of humans.
Humans are universal in these needs, but humanity sometimes doesn't recognize these basics, and act accordingly, or permit ourselves the humanity to insure that this facility is respected, and acknowledged in order to make that possible.
To the best extent of our capability, the concept of being human is rarely discussed, planned for, etc., and quite often, humans are left to their own devices without sufficient liberty insurance to help themselves. What is inhumane or not is not a matter of perspective but what is universally recognized as necessary, as it would be for any other primate, or animal.
To suggest that community health is a community affair would not be wrong in that case, and it applies regardless of circumstances. Humans, like all other animals have needs, and perhaps, as much, if not more than other animals ... Pat, 10 May 2007
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Comments
Interesting.
I was originally skimming through this article to cite for my literature review on the effect of confinement/social isolation on the aggression of people. Then I started to read the comments down here and this article slowly began to grasp my attention. Some people say they go through isolation as well, and it either kills them inside, or has no effect. Some people begin to stalk towards aggression, depression, or paranoia. Then there are the people who find this article to be completely ludicrous. I find this all terribly interesting. However, I'm fairly sure that "Lonely Madness" isn't something that happens to every human. It only happens to certain people who think in a certain way (Basically the majority of people). If someone were to place a toddler, an eight year old, a thirty year old, and an elderly person in separate rooms for a year, the thirty year old and elderly man would most likely seep into paranoia or aggression. The eight year old might face depression, and the toddler would probably just be scared out of its wits until it got used to the change.
But that's only the majority of the case. Some people just think and feel differently. Ain't it amusing?
I love talking about these things, so if anyone wants to converse about this more, e-mail me at:
Lonely Madness, good title
As a believer of Jesus Christ in America in particular, it is an unusual exsistence to have a life so filled with isolation.
As a human, a Christian, a citizen of a large city, and as an unmarried female ( statistically there are more 'women' in a group rather than men), it is odd to live this way. God promises that there is an expiration date on our suffering...as many of you, we often live your days of quiet desperation wondering if we're going to even 'make it' to the expiraton date. Most friends and family I know, don't relate to my plight and that hurts but hurting me is not their intention, it is just the way it is. I agree with the post here that said you have to just let the pain roll over you & go with it. I've found that to be the best way to cope versus striking out at others. One gets to a dreary, lethargical place, where even simple life functions are difficult. But the truth is...His mercies fail not...and they do not end. My focus must remain on being a giver. Loving my fellow man unconditionally. Can it really work any other way? I do need others...we all need others, but we cannot always depend on humans for all that we need... at my core...I trust my well being to God's faithfulness for He is truly all one has (and I can tell you, He has done awesome things in my life to prove He is a loving, faithful heavenly Father) and although He allows the suffering to come into my life, He does not intend that it should destroy my life. If we are transparent with others who are lonely and isolated, we can comfort one another as God intended. There is an enemy fighting for our souls...and God wants us to LIVE! After all, He died, so each of us would FIND LIFE and have abundant life. Abiding in Christ, I find the will to continue. Jesus is not a concept or intellectual ascend to acheive...He's a real being, that truly surrendered believers experience regularly. Even the periods of life that are excruciating are a thousand times better just because I 'know' He is alive, that He reigns and He loves me. Any one can know Him and experience new life if they really wanted it. Seek Him with your 'whole' heart and nothing will stop Him from revealing Himself to you.
If you have searched for Him (as I did for many years) and still feel you haven't truly encountered Him...DONT STOP CRYING OUT TO HIM...when you reach for Him...sincerely...He WILL answer you...it may be when 'He' decides...as in my case...but nonetheless, it WILL HAPPEN. The key is 'your' heart...Do you really want to know Him? For me, He has made all the difference. He has been with me when I have had no choice but to be isolated and alone. And so, my heart goes out to all my fellow sufferers here...May the love Jesus has for you touch you in a profound, life changing way today. May He restore your hope, and your vitality...for nothing is impossible 'with GOD' * YOU ARE LOVED * God Bless.
Wonderful, what city are you
Wonderful, what city are you in and what Church groups are there around you that you might be able to become a part of?
REPLY TO Lonely Madness, good title
Thanks for this. I gave my life to Jesus and even though I have always been lonley and isolated myself I have always felt loved by Jesus. There was once a time when I tried to kill myself with paracetamol overdose (Which can I say is a stupid and painful way to try kill yourself) I was crying in bed after a break up with my boyfriend who was my last hope of being loved and wanted by another person I guess, and God spoke to me and he said My grace is sufficient in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) From then on whenever I felt lonley weak or tired I knew that God's strength would show up in those moments, not by my strength but by His :) It's been two years and I have not left the house, I don't go out anymore, I don't have any friends I feel lonley as ever, like I'm going crazy but God never lets me go beyond what I can handle He really is my strength. :) And the strange things is that my whole family work hard, have stable jobs, great friends and socialize alot and 'seem' happy they call me crazy and the 'one' that is mad and avoid me, but through me three of my sisters gave their lives to Jesus, my old friends gave their lives to Jesus, one of my sisters told me that even though I am socially not right in the head or crazy even there's something different about me and that she see's a change in me. Which is nice I guess they may not thank me now seeing as I'm the lonley useless and crazy one but they can thank me in heaven. Although I do feel lonley and can't go out of the house because of fear and stuff I feel safe with God and although He has the power to change my situation in a second He has chosen not to because He has a better plan :) It doesn't make sense to me but because my sisters came to know him I hold hope that he knows best, and I'm loved wahoo x
Not Lonely
I am about to turn 50 years old. I have never been lonely in my life. I really enjoy my own company. I had a crappy childhood, 20 years military, and lived in the woods for almost 4 years, often going a hundred days at a time without even seeing another mans footprint. I have never hurt an animal or human except to hunt or fish or defend myself. Am I unique, or just damage goods?
your a lucky man if you have
your a lucky man if you have come through life and retained your integrity ... and enjoyed
im suffering...........
im an indian middle class girl......belonging to a highly orthodox family............
bt i never liked d way dey are... i want to face d world....i want to see dis world........i hav different vision from others in my family.......im in 12th nv........and till nv i hardly had any friendly coversation with my parents........they want me to be like an indian women..bt i want to be a free bird.....i cant choose my frndz.....my dress my hairstyle....my sandles...my study timetable,....nathng..........i m getting frustated..n by nv im getting negative thoughts........in not sure waht is happening,n what to do...........i need help.....i need advice..............
im suffering
my situation is same related to you. reply
Lonely
I am in same situation and would like to talk
for what it's worth
aww fuckhammer! i just deleted what i wanted to say. lucky you i'll make this short. read many of your stories, wow, that's me! okay if you are like me you want to force change and put energy somewhere, to get out. hobbies! corny right? i've been a pilot a musician, hunter bicicle motorcycle ect... ah but karate has been the most beneficial. i am not athletic and never been in a fight. i'm only okay at karate but that's not why they respect me. i believe i get respect because i show up all the time and work hard and have the proper attitude (usually)(that's the hardest part) but i looked around and found the most mom and dad dojo with the word "friend" in the name and must have just got lucky. some dojos even have cristian overtones but not this one. it's a traditional dojo. the instructors are patient and caring, they deal with all kinds of people and have probably seen plenty of insecure or crazies come through the door. i have injured myself embarrassed myself, but i don't bitch or whine and just keep going to class. it's hard, does'nt solve anything but to keep it short i wont go into the psycology of it for me but i truly hope this helps some one like it helps me or gives you food for though outside the box, good luck.
Losing it
I begin to find myself being latched to the thought of maybe having an isolation disorder after reading many peoples experiences with it and i myself just wanting to seek out an answer and finally be normal. My whole experience with this stems back to my early years but current events have made its effects seem more apparent and really unleashed it's chaos. I just graduated highschool, i was a top of my class socially and grade wise. I had lots of friends and i would hang out with them a lot. This changed immediately after graduation... I got a full time job the day after. Mon-Fri 9-5. My dad bought a car that he wasn't going to be able to afford and he fooled me into taking over payments, they're $650 a month. we were supposed to split them but i ended up taking on the full payment in the end. My parents marriage suffers major instability and they steer some of that my way... I would love to move out but can't since all my money goes to the car. My step dad is border line abusive, a control freak, really strict, and lets me see my friends maybe once a week. My whole life now consists of constantly working to pay for this car. I feel, as an 18 year old, that as if i'm trying to constantly stay afloat and the world is slipping away beneath me. I'm barely in contact with anyone anymore and my life has become a blend of beige incidents, everything just happens. I noticed my social skills started to horribly degrade and i've lost all ability to form any cognitive thought. My actions just happen with no reasoning behind them, it's impossible to focus on anything, and to put it in basic terms, i feel brain dead. There's so much more i'd like to explain but i've lost any memory of things that happen now a days. I just wish this would all stop...
Good grief return the car..
Good grief return the car.. move out and live your own life.. What kind of a person straps an 18 year old with that kind of car pymnt? for that matter what kind of car is worth that kind of pymnt? Do you own the car or does the car own YOU> Keep life simple drive what you can afford. Live your own life. YOU CAN DO IT.
your post
I was looking up a few things and came across your post. Im female and much older but started out similarly, being isolated because emotional and in my case sexual abuse. Ive done alot of work and been thru both extremes ( never alone and always alone) and the only thing that can make a difference is reaching out when youre ready. Ive sought therapy, and Im glad. If your friends are ther for you, reach to them. In my earlie 30's I shut down completely for four months, walking away from a 4 year job. I know its not easy, just follow your insticts when they finaly tell you to reach out.
Life...
When I was in middle school everyone made fun of me because I was chubby. My older sister was my babysitter but she would lock me outside.. So I was always alone, in my head at school, and literally once I got home from school. I became a very angry person inside my head. I began to HATE people. Lost pretty much all trust. I would stay out in the woods until time to go to sleep then I would walk back home. We have very thick woods. I would probably go about 15 miles or so into them. Anyways.. After being alone for so long like I said I did become angry.. But no one knew. It was all in my head. I didn't talk to anyone. I started to kill animals.. Mostly cats and dogs. Violently. Very Very Violently. Well that lasted about 2 years I guess.. Then I lost weight and people started being nice to me =/ okay.. wow.. go figure. Well I went along with it because it was something different. I tried to fit in even though it made me feel very nervous.. I tried to hide it from everyone. When I was 21 I joined the army infantry.. The Army made me grow strong and I chilled out. But.. Now I am out.. All of my friends have new lives. They don't care for me.. My old violent self is coming back out. I've been sitting in my room for about 7 months. I haven't said anything to anyone. I only open my mouth to eat and drink. I think I just want someone in my life.. before it's too late.. I feel like I have timer in my head and it's running thin.. If something doesn't happen soon.. I don't know.. I'm probably going to make something happen.. I'm a nice guy. I have a very silly personality. I'm talented I play guitar, drums, and do vocals. I record my own music. I'm very caring.. but.. Society.. Society is forming me into a monster.. I feel it.. growing..
Treat others the way you want to be treated.. Right. Okay.. I'll be sure TO SHOW YOU NO MERCY!
Also.. I am starting to day dream and it's very odd because I think it's real but then I find out it isn't. My day dreams often get me high then I get stuck with disappointment.
Like today.. actually.. I thought I was texting this chick I'm pretty much in love with and she was saying she wanted to be with me. My spirits lifted! I went to take a shower.. when I looked at my phone.. it never happened. =( This has never happened to me before.. this day dreaming. I'm sure i'm losing it. Just keep an ear out for me. I'm sure I'll end up being on the news before too long.
i feel 4 u man
xxxxxx u sexy deviant u
In your head....
I have been where you are. I started to fantasize about doing some very terrible things to get attention. The only part of society that I was seeing were the shallow and the self absorbed. The people who start being nice to you when you lose some weight.... I remember being thin and beautiful and on top of the world and they didn't seem to see what was inside of me then either. I have struggled with this and then I started to see a spiritual teacher. He told me that "the more you live in your head, the more you hate your reality." I thought, at the time, well of course I hate my reality. Everything does suck! And I wasn't even feeling sorry for myself, it just was my reality at that time. I was living so much in my dream state that when I took the time to look around I hated it more and more. Then started to spend more time with my daydreams. They became very real.... But my teachers voice did keep coming into my mind like a serious warning. "The more you live in your head, the more you will hate your reality." I began to consciously pull myself out of my mind. To listen to the voice in my head that said even though this is an escape, this is not healthy for me. Nothing good will come of it. Little by little I lived in my hellish reality. And the less I fantasized about a different life, the less I hated the one I was living. This is no miracle storey. Nothing happened overnight. But a little at a time I started to do things and things became tolerable. Tolerable, after hellish was acceptable for me. Now I even have some good things happening in my life. It took a long time, but good things happened, to me. I think Mother Theresa's quote is so true though. "There are many people starving in the world. There are many more starving for a little love." Sometimes, when these people find each other, things can turn around.
Understanding Loner
I too have suffered,
What is it? loneliness and how do we begin to deal with it.
My own wondering circumstances have brought me here to the point where I am looking for something that might guide me though a troublesome time! I distract myself with too much TV and gaming, leaving reality to the mundane.
I have lost along the way. The passing of friends, jobs, and places of security, now being dependant upon the system, unable to ensure a long term stable life without a handout, without a job, without, without. I know my health isn't great and know I suffer. Sat down in the shower trying to understand how could this be? What's going to happen next, will it get better or worse? It hurts I know. Im still here.
It could get darker, that last note,
All I know is Dependence after a certain age is a personal nightmare, This world has shit everywhere, nastiness everytime our mind dives into how fucked up life can get, I am not always happy with this deal, and am wanting.
I just hope that my mind set and soul has the courage to see this passage through time & life untill the right time.
I wish to share something with you all. And this is just my simple understanding and loneliness.
Trying to connect. Righting this has caused an outlet of emotion, a way of being, felt, known, heard, aware off, this in tern has in some way helped me. Everytime my loneliness boils inside as of today I try to look for a remedy and this is a little help for me!
I just wanted to say our blue ball, this earth we live with, in the greater scheme of what truly matters could easily be placed upon a pin head, its compared to the size of a nano a spec a spark, the past present & future are an instant, and all that's gone before will come again, so when your stuck in rutt think about the vastness of time space outside the box. I hope this might help you' as it has me, life does improve upon how we perceive our experience, As we cried as a child we still cry as we grow old, this wanting something, that something could be understanding, we know why were hungry, why are we alone, Expanding our awareness and learning in this one of many lifes might ease our suffering as this time goes.
From a Loner...
Im was a socially active
Im was a socially active person, had friends and girlfriends partied. now all i do is play world of warcraft.. im starting to feel isolated but ive lost the urge to connect with people in the real world.when i go outisde nature seems so precious. i feel like im fading into numbness. ive been playing this game on and off for 4 years and and i go into these "hibernation" patterns where i just play for months. im afraid this one wont end. im afraid maybe this could lead to some serious psychological effects?
WoW
Have you thought about bringing this up with some one you trust? May be you could get in touch with a forum for people who are over-using gambling, computergames etc? Think about where you would like to be within ten years...I regognize the problem from my son. All the best- Regina
huh, I'm on the same boat
Been sitting at home in front of the computer all day long for a long time now. Don't know how to get out of it, this is the most social contact I've had in a while. ... shit
I'm a 16 year old school girl
I'm a 16 year old school girl who spends a lot of time on the computer and not a lot of time outside or with friends. Most of the time I'm alone in my room unless I am at school, and at school I don't talk to anyone in my classes unless I know them well which is only a couple of people. I understand your situation well enough to know that you don't know what to do and how to get out of this computer habit, I can put myself in most peoples situations well. Talk to me! I want to help you!
Almost Numb to Isolation
Re: Post from Sat, 06/20/2009 - 7:23pm;
Your post sounds like a poem to me.
My job for the past 10 years has kept me working 10 - 16 hour days in complete isolation, working from a computer as fast as I can, solving variations of the same problems.
It's like the movie "Groundhog's Day", for years on end, only with no personal face to face human interaction. Just a computer monitor in my face and year after year of the same old thing.
I'm almost numb to it now, except for sometimes when I get mad about feeling like a prisoner or slave.
So many people depending on me to keep working. No way out of the isolation, unless I'm willing to risk losing the people who need me to keep producing.
Where did that pesky white rabbit go?
Just read every single one of these and I am amazed. My jaw dropped many, many times. John Franzen and sbs, I think you two helped me understand and my experiences the best.
I've pushed out everyone in the last six months, even left my fiancé and began ignoring my (already distant) family's calls. Like a few others here, I too isolated myself at work. Since I'm not getting the real social interaction, I have found myself talking outloud, even in public places. I wear an mp3 player to disguise this, everyone usually just thinks I am chanting something in my office.
Sometimes I will slip into a daydream state and have conversations with people who are real in life, but it's almost as if i am rehearsing what I am going to say to them. I can see them, it's as if they are really there, talking to me and I am telling them about something, such as a movie I saw or possibly a really good two-sided socio/econ/political conversation occurs. A few evenings ago I woke myself up from one of these conversations when I yelled out something in the conversation and it startled my conscious. I was standing motionless in my living room, facing a wall, had just walked in the door from work.
I haven't left my house in months, but to go to work, putting less than 600 miles on my car in four months, working full-time. I stop at a middle-eastern grocer that is on my route home, not the fastest route, but the route that has the least amount of stops where I would be forced to sit at a traffic light surrounded by others. I've adapted to cooking Indian food well and most importantly nobody in the store cares to speak English.
Finally, this afternoon I was swapping emails with an ex-girlfriend of mine who moved a different direction after grad school, catching up, talking about a camping trip I am planning. I invited her to come along, she said she was going to be in town that week and would love to come along. I felt great all afternoon, been wanting to go camping across New Mexico and her humor would make the road trip better. But now, strangely, these emails do not exist and it is creeping me out.
These aren't so much hallucinations as they are daydreams. And they are becoming more and more common. Thank you for listening.
What about Dick Proenneke?
What about Dick Proenneke who spent 30 years living in almost complete isolation in Twin Lakes, Alaska? He didn't go insane. Perhaps he was an exception to the rule? I wonder how many "exceptions" exist out there, and happily?
Makes sense....
I found this article after searching for the effects of isolation. I started working from home several years ago in a job I really don't enjoy, but circustances are such that I have absolutely no option but to do this, as bills have to be paid.
I am alone for most of the day. In the first few years I noticed I was getting extremely loney and this has feathered off into other types of strange behaviour. I was by nature an insecure person anyway, but now I get bouts at least once a month where I am so paralysed by lonliness that I can't work, can't rest, eat or sleep. People think it must be a dream to work from home. They have no idea how isolating it is. You don't build relationships with colleagues and thus make new friends. You are alone nearly all the time and as a result my social skills are erroding.
More times than not I can't be bothered to get out of the house and do something. I sleep poorly and lately I can't bring myself to eat at all. I'm getting by on sugary snacks which is all I can tolerate the thought of eating. When I do it meals I have to force myself.
I come from a big family. Being this isolated is torture for me, and is damaging my wellbeing :(
To Makes Sense and All
I too work alone and have for many years in one way or another, work changed but now it has been 30 years of working alone and the bad effects are evident. Though I have a husband and children, my own immediate family are many miles away and I rarely see them. Kids grew up and left and it really hit me, the lonliness. It is horrible. Not natural, we are social animals. But my job situatons turned out this way but I should not have accepted this. Thank you who ever posted this website and thank God and man for the internet as it helps to investigate things. I searched "isolation and lonliness , mental health" as I really struggle with feeling bad. I used to cry hard, alone, daily. Not seeing things or talking to myself yet...that could need meds you guys who do...get some med advice on that. I see I am not alone, no pun intended. We got to get out and join more meetup groups and make steady daily connected relationships. I keep trying but I work so many hours. I have joined meet up in my town and it help, not fully cause I am alone all day long.....day after day. Hang in there and fight your way out of the box we got pushed into! My love to all of you who suffer like me.
non existent
I have been steadily becoming more and more withdrawn from 'society'.
I have lived alone for six years and at this point I only live home to buy groceries, usually in the middle of the night when there's only a few people in the store.
I don't like the isolated life I live. I have no friends by my choice. I discourage anyone from wanting to be my friend by basically trying to be rude/mean toward them when they approach me in a way in which that I think that they are wanting to befriend me.
I do not work, and haven't since early 2006. I have now gotten to the point that I 'lose time' as I call it. I can't judge the time between a week, month, or year ago. All time has 'blurred' together.
I know that the reason for my 'condition' is because of the horrible life I have had, full of people who betrayed me in nearly every way that you can think of. I think I just got tired of it. My current attitude is that I never want to be seen by anyone. I do not want to talk to anyone. I hate the world and everyone in it. It sounds bad, I know, but that's how it has gotten for me. I have no idea how to change this. I'm 25.
Isolation
My sentiments exactly. However, in my case, I have basically been alone all my life. I have never had a friend. I have had girlfriends for short periods of time only for I cannot sustain a relationship due to chilhood trauma and PTSD. My reaction to people now is to be completely honest. If they say: how are you, I reply "horrible." If they say "have a nice day" I just refuse to reply. In elevators, I turn my back to others or just look down on the floor. I refuse to make eye contact. Like you, I now refuse to let people inside my "safe zone." Unconciously or conciouslly, I push them away. They only want to use me anyway for money. I HATE the world. I no longer fear death. Each night, I hope that I will not awake the next day.
me too
even my own family has hurt me too. So I have no friends or social interaction because of my fears brought on by many people who have hurt me or took advantage of me. My social fear is strong. I have fibromyalgia as well and some times my body doesn't function normally out of the blue. I appear clumsy and awkward and leg or arm locked in public which makes it even harder to deal with social situations. I am lost in a lonely world (abyss) too.
cindy
I feel similarly. No matter
I feel similarly. No matter how much I try to eat right, exercise, start the day out with a walk, have lunch with my boyfriend, I continue to slip back into a hopeless, morose feeling... I already struggle with depression, but working from home makes me feel like life is such a waste. I SHOULD be happy because of the flexibility it offers, but instead I am miserable. I even go to cafes to get work done sometimes, just for a change of scenery, and that helps a bit, but even there, I am not interacting with anyone and I end up feeling so lonely. By nature I am a very very social person.
Agoraphobia
Can I ever relate to these comments. I'm a 33 year old woman who suffers from agoraphobia. I am confined to my home and have experienced long term isolation for 6 years now. At my worst I couldn't even open my door to a stranger. I don't know the longest I've gone without talking to or seeing someone, I just know it is a long time. This article interests me as at one point I searched online for a prison pen pal. I believed that they would be the only people who could understand what I am going through. And when it occurred to me I really felt sorry for what it must be like for them. Then I decided against it for fear of being laughed at.
I used to be very social and confident and successful by society standards. I have fought hard to keep my sanity, sometimes I feel strong other times like I'm very close to losing it for good. I have been suicidal on and off for the entire time. I have stopped reaching out as when I have done so in the past the help just isn't there. I used to wish to be better at every moment. I used to miss my life, my work, my friends, parties, etc. I am now so disappointed in humanity that, although I am still habitually searching for the cure, I can't say for certain that I even want to be a part of it anymore. In trying to find the answers I have seen society for what it really is and it puts me in a really tough position. On one hand I don't know how much longer I can do this without going mad. On the other hand I can't just go back to this world knowing what I now know about it. I am not sure if there will ever just be a carefree, enjoyable day for me again. I really just want to put all of this behind me but there really isn't the help that I need. In order to start healing I have to force myself to be around people alot. But my fears keep me from even going to buy some milk on some days... Sometimes I've felt like I am the only one of my kind and there was some mistake when I was born on this planet. Always thinking "what the H is wrong with everyone, and what is wrong with me?" At least I don't feel so alone after reading these.
I can relate to this feeling
I can relate to this feeling of being alone....have to ask you a question though....when you say that you "have seen society for what it really is" what do you mean exactly. Society is a great many things....a lot of ugly and a lot of good. What is your interpretation or understanding of society?
I look at society as a spirit
I look at society as a spirit killing entity. A place where people are all in pain and are mostly trying to spend all of their time hiding who they really are. People seem so disconnected from anything that has any true value. When you go out and be real you are shunned like the plague. Nobody wants to look at themselves. They are programed to believe that everything real, everything they truly are, is ugly. Isn't it easier to buy a new lipstick. Then you will be loved. Too much fat on your body or not enough. Too much emotion or too little. Not enough money or a rich pig. It is not a warm place to be. You must be a robot or be judged. It can seem like a waste of good time to be a part of it. But as the article says, without socialising we become sick. Not a great set of choices. This society is such a horrible mess. Most of the "happy" people I've met are only happy because they have been able to close their eyes to what a mess it all is and live out of a catalogue.... To go further, I know that things are like this because the people in power want us to be too busy and insecure to see the truth about our lives. They want the masses to never realise that they are slaves. What a smart idea. Slaves who think they're free and regulate each other by passing the lies along to their children. Enslaving them too, but thinking it's kindness. I guess if they didn't learn they would end up like me. So maybe it is better for them this way.... Sorry for the negativity but it is my honest answer.
want to talk
Please email me. Nemesisvirus25@yahoo.com
We need to talk, please. I think we have much to say to each other.
Help For Agrophobia
Hi sufferer from Agrophobia
Firstly I really feel sorry for you. It is very hard to readjust to a world you feel cares nothing for you.
As I desire to help you please go to my website , Under Booklets go to Kabbalah Love.
Many people have found serenity, confidence, and blessings through the teckiques of Kabbalah that I have written down in this book.
I really hope you will be blessed.
If nothing else try this - hand over your problem to G-d.
Say to him "Dear G-d I cannot handle my issue, please get me better and I promise to be a kind, nice, person with compassion to all."
I hope this works for you.
Thank you for your
Thank you for your thoughtfulness and kind words. I will look for the book and send out the promise. Thanks again.
solitary confinement for most of 2 decades
i've spent much of my life in solitary confinement. but i was not and am not in a literal prison with bars. as a child (only child) iwas either being verbally abused or ignored. i was without friends at school and bullied horribly.
in the workplace (81 to 03) i mostly had jobs where nobody wanted to be my friend and where i had little social contact always going to lunch alone.
in college 90 to 93, nobody in my dept. toalked to me or wanted to be my friend. altho' i was living with a man i tried to avoid him and kept much of my thoughts to myself.
in 94 i fell homeless, my partner and i no longer together. since 94 i have been thru and am still going thru in and out of homelessness, starvation and the only human contact for example being fighting for food stamps or callling up homeless shelters.
i spend alot of my time now (i'm lucky to have 1 or 2 hours human contact per month, researching suicide. i have multiple diseases which leave me in excruciating pain. i was trying to write my memoir but currently i have a stalker who burglarizes my section 8 apt. almost daily and vandalizes my car almost daily. the police won't help
i see no way out but one. yet in our suicide there is such a heavy stigma to even discussing suicide (even with professionals) that talking about it can get u sent to a psych facility where in my opinion the conditions are also torture
Torture
Couldn't agree more-no-one sreally understands-what happens is people look at you and think of the times they themselves almost got to the same point and think "thank god it didn't"-the conditions in mental institutions amount to inhuman and degrading treatment-in my case I have two children who I love to bits so I see them when I can but I will now have to stop as it is upsetting them too much-all I get is criticism and accusations about being lazy-don't these prople understand I would far rather be back to normal and certainly working and contributing to society-before I got really ill yes I was depressed and self-medficating at times but nothing like as bad as this -I feel locked in to the benefits system and doubt whether there is anything I can do-yes, I did enjoy a massive unbelievably enjoyable "high" but I would certainly trade all that to have my ex-wife and children back in my life in a good way-no-one can handle it any more.
Your book, Ravindra
Please, let me know when your book is out. I would like to check your research.
Ama Deum Primo,
Liam
Like I was reading a book i wrote...
Wow...just wow! I never realized why any of this was happening to me. I was in a very solitary position for almost two years non-stop. Afterwards I went to college and graduate school full-time, living by myself and shunning teamwork projects. Now that I am graduated and in the workforce and social circles, I find myself pushing away others, hiding in quiet lonely places, and philosophizing (lol is that even a word?) for hours.
You know that feeling that exists when you take opposite ends of two strong magnets and attempt to put them together? That's the feeling I get when I think about going into a grocery store or movie theater, or work function.
I go grocery shopping at 6:30AM on Sunday mornings...not because I need stuff for a church potluck.
I look out of all my windows before going outside to get the mail. If someone is loading up their car, I wait. Sometimes I will get up and go at 2AM. Just don't want to talk to them or even feel obligated to wave 'hi'.
I will get to work very early. Less traffic. And I don't feel like I am boxed in at a traffic light in rush hour.
I sneak out the back door at work so nobody sees me leave and makes me say 'goodbye' in return.
I,I,I, notice how all these sentences start with 'I'? How sad.
Today is my first day learning how to cope with this. It all needs to stop.
Gone with a Sin
Mentally challenged through desolation, pain to deep to fathom,
Hatred for all God's children, i was forgotten in this chasm of lonliness,
Omonious bones, condoned throne of worthlessness,
My mother suffered because I breathe releaved I didn't recieve abortion,
Forgive me for my selfish symphony, im still searching for a divine entity,
Volatile psyche, i strike dead the religious and rightous,
Carve stars in my skin, maybe i'll trigger the demon within,
Mindlessly sreaming sin in the confine presence of Jesus,
Playing with the life and death of this body, bleeding out my sorrow,
Thats the only worship i have to offer,
I see visions of my family burning because im here,
Insanity is what I speak, by my hand, my death is near.
-VICEROY
My little input
After reading this page and much of the commenting on it, I decided my two cents might come in handy for someone. Being an introvert in highschool and never caring much for prom, school sports, or any social events, I'm happily riding out my 4 years in a pretty quite manner. While I'm rather boisterous in my small circle of friend, I rarely try to make new friends with people I don't know and I zone out, avoiding people I'm unfamiliar with. I never really believed in any higher being or other religious view, but it seems clear that people enjoy and often benifit from belieing some higher being is a close friend who is always listening. I don't condemn God, Jesus, or imaginary friends, even though I'm not a believer.
My mild isolation is chosen, and not forced on me, however. When I need to be interacting with people, I simply log onto an online game or a website where I know several people. The simply joy from someone commenting on something I submit or messaging a friend to say "Hi" ingame often gives me a little boost and I find myself not wanting to even be online when no one is chatting or availible to me. To anyone feeling lonely and depressed, I suggest getting a large, online game where you can talk live and freely with strangers. I play World of Warcraft and Left 4 Dead, both of which have large partner- or team-based aspects. Art sites are also nice, even for people who cannot draw or write.
a little of my 2 sense worth
In reply to the comment that neinne left. I don't think she is talking about a person with friends. At least you have friends that you chat with and talk to. Do you think prisoners have access to computers? WRONG When they are isolated it means that they are in a 8 X 10 with a sink, tiolet, and bed and that is it. So now imagine yourself being somewhere like this where the only thing you have to talk to is yourself, the wall, and a spider 24 X 7 for a long period of time like 2 to 3 weeks or even more. Then you give your opinion of what it feels like to be put in solitary confinement. People like you outrage me.
My Work Isolated me - then I isolated me
Hello, Just heart wrenching stories. I really don't think we are meant to be "islands". Before my job which isolated me, I was outgoing, had many interests which I persued. I loved fishing, boating, had my own boat. I loved being around people. I loved auctions etc...etc... I lived life to the fullest.
Then I got a job in a security office with the school board I worked for. I had a room, with a washroom, and a small fridge, a microwave and a sink and cupboard. I thought, this will be a piece of cake.
I was behind 2 locked doors, and I was alone my entire shift of 8 hours. Mon - Fri. for 14 years.In the first years, I became restless. By this time, I had asked for a television, and collected money from the other workers to pay for satellite. but I still was alone. I had no interaction with other humans. Except a brief few minutes for shift change. It was often that I never saw anyone, even my boss for 3 months at a time. My interaction with people was quite sparse. I could hear people when they called, but that was business. I could see people on the camera, in the last 4 years, but I still couldn't interact with them. I slowly became accustomed to being alone, and made my home life the same. I stopped calling my friends. I became aggitated with them, and dropped them . Everything I found to do was always something that didn't involve other people. I became a loner. I began to not trust people. I started feeling sad all the time. I started feeliing no one cared about me.
I was forgotten....I would hear about staff parties, christmas parties over the years, which I was never invited.(out of sight, out of mind). I could see staff meeting and talking in the hallways. The only staff I saw was when the garbage was picked up, but mostly I put it in the hallway. Whenver someone saw me outside the office, they would say, "Who let you out"? Time began to go by and before you know it 14 years had gone by. I had become a good carpenter, and even put two entire floors down which I finished myself througout my house. I spent entire summers alone. I would get aggitated if a friend wanted me to leave my woodshop. I so looked forward to my summers, but i wanted to be alone.
I had lost all social skills. Other humans, as I refered to them by now, were only fun to observe. Some were funny, some adventruous like I used to be, some were smart, some shallow, some uppidity, some friendly....But I couldn't connect to any of them. It's not that I didn't like people, I just couldn't connect, and I was accustomed to being alone. I began to resent the people who worked in my building. I would climb on my stepstool to see out the small windows and see them having a barbeque, but no one ever brought me a burger. I was not allowed to leave my office in case an alarm came in. It's not that I wasn't invited, per emails, but I couldn't leave my office. This infuriated me, the fact that many people knew I was in there, but couldn't leave. Not one person out of hundreds offered me a burger.
I was sent emails about the specials at the cafeteria, but I could never go. I got emails about excercise programs,culinary arts lunches, courses. I couldn't attend courses because of my shift work. I began to feel totally isolated and unwelcome. I went into a deep depression. It was a struggle for me to even do my laundry now. I forced myself to do the things I never use to even think about, but just did them. I started being self concious when going out in public. Was i dressed properly? Was my hair ok? I became undecisive of what to shop for.
I hated my life with such a passion at times, that I begged God to take me home. He didn't.
A couple weeks ago, I was told we all had to go to an anger management course. So I got my shift covered and went. It was there, that alll the frustration came out of me. In front of over 70 people. All the hurt, lonliness, frustration, and isolation just came out of me. There wasn't any warning. I never anticipated for an instance that I would blow!
I won't forget that day and I"m sure many others won't.
I arrived a bit early, parked my truck, then walked inside the rather large hall where we were to meet. The first two people I saw asked me, "Who let you out"? Then I saw my boss, said hello and he completely ignored me.
This reinforced my belief that no one cared and only added to my isolation, my pain and my lonliness.
The class had begun. We were each given a book. There was one circle with "YOU" in the middle. WE were to put the initials of people who are difficult to get along with in the circles surrounding. I needed more circles, but really didn't care about this game at all anyways. I'll just play alone, I firgured and humor them. No one had any idea how vented up with lonliness and hurt from lack of human contact I was. So I told them! I told them all!
After all, this was an anger management course.
It wasn't planned. It just happened. The teacher of anger management had asked a question about difficult people. In the book it explains how to answer people. I'd prefer we did it this way, or say, I'd prefer this or that.....I understood what she was saying but it didn't apply to me. I stood up , she let me speak.....Big Mistake for her. I told them all that people were like vultures who prey upon the weak.....they were bullies, they had gang mentality , and they were uncaring and that's what difficult people are like. Then I sat down. I have a voice that is strong and carries well. I made my point. I noticed a wierd reaction. People didn't move. They just stared straight ahead. I also noticed a woman moving away from me slowly with her chair. Another woman looked at me with absolute shock on her face. There was complete silence.
I thought to myself, Ok, What just happened? Ok, I kept saying to myself. They don't understand. Just act normal and smile. The teacher kept looking at me, watching me. She did not acknowledge my anger at all. She completely ignored me and carried on with her simple teaching skills.
AFter another 15 minutes or so, we were let out for break. The room emptied so fast that I didn't see a single person.
I knew I had to leave. I didn't stay the day like I was supposed to. I knew I was different. I realized for the first time that I had a serious problem. I was angry.
I went home and cried for hours. I didn't go to work the next day. My boss told me to take all the time I needed. I went to my family doctor and told him what had happened. I told him about my job, the isolation for 14 years, the lonliness and the pain. Now, I needed medication. I had some problems. I knew I missed being the person I used to be. I started reading about "isolation". I had no idea that it could be so unhealthy. Now I am getting help, with medication for depression, and councelling to learn how to associate again. Thank God for answered prayer.
Isolation is subtle. At first, it seems good, ok, acceptable. Then it takes over. With no feed back from others I became unsure of my own thoughts. I didn't have any joy or pleasure from things anymore. I was losing myself, others , and life.
I'm still off work. I dread having to go back to that room that stole my life from me.
litle island myself
Wow, I am completely blown away. If it wasn't for the job title, I could have written this myself. I have experienced the same isolation in my work. I was a records clerk for an attorney firm, worked alone in my little office with barely a nod in my direction. Although I had some contact with people, like you, it was business. I worked very hard for that company and in the end they fired me. Not for not doing my job but for insubordination and lack of progress due to other called upon duties they gave me. Anyway, I was devastated. In the end they did me a huge favor, I got a position with a nationwide furniture store as their file manager, and a raise to go with it. Now here's my problem, and maybe you have some insight to the answer. Or you can direct me in the right direction, I hope.
With this new position, these people are so nice, but I have such anxiety every day going into work. I keep telling myself this isn't the company I used to work for. It's very very different. But I think I expect the behavior to start at any moment. My previous co-employees made me feel so rejected, dejected and just plain awful and ignored. The same as you, out of sight-out of mind. I've had some isolated time at work due to working off site most of the week. When I'm in the office, it's very nice and my boss has said he wants me to be more a part of the goings on in the office. That's great! I love that! But I feel like if they get to know me they won't like me and things will end up terrible. I don't trust myself to interact with people properly.
Does that make any sense?
Little Soul
Somewhere deep inside...there is some little soul. A tiny flame, even if it's only just a flicker.
Maybe it's the best when it's just a flicker; because then it takes the most care to bring it back to a full flame. Patience. Love.
"Joanna Newsom, Sydney - Jack Rabbits (Love You Again)"
You can find that on YouTube. I don't know what it is, but the melody is so soothing. I didn't mention this for no reason.
I play music, and I listen to music, and it's helped so much. Many times, the only company I've had is music. When I was having nervous breakdowns in this basement after I had dropped out of college, by myself behind closed doors, for all that time, so long...I would listen to music. It's humanity. Maybe my brain is permanently damaged from my isolation -- my perception of reality is definitely detached, my memory is shot and I can barely function in terms of actually supporting myself at all --
-- but maybe it's *unhinged*? "The usefulness of a cup is its emptiness"; isolation is scary, but don't be afraid of ever being okay with it...that is, if you really are messed up, embracing that instead of fighting it seems like it could solve so much.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be lonely. It's okay to cry. It's okay to not be able to be happy, to feel broken -- you didn't choose to come into this whole universe, so how can you be responsible for doing more than what you're capable of doing? If life has broken you...it's okay to be broken. Speaking of God, that's how I think of it...nothing as intimate as a moment like that: "Why did you break me?" And then you just cry. Let everything out.
It's a valid question. But more importantly -- much, much more importantly -- it re-awakens that little soul. The little flicker. It tends it and gets it going again. It's alive. You're alive.
Isolation is awful. My life has been filled with so much pain, for most of my life I've been wishing God would just kill me. The isolation got worse and worse. But then it reached a breaking point -- my mind's never felt the same since then -- and...I don't want to die anymore. I don't like suffering. I don't want to suffer. But I don't want to die.
And love bleeds from an open heart. Just as you unleashed everything on those people then...this is what I feel an urge to do, with stories of this "little soul." I feel like my heart's going to cave in if I don't reach out to you.
I hate it and love it at the same time. I feel so good and so awful at the same time. It's half past 5 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm starting to cry because of what I read here, and remembering everything that's happened in my own life. It's a big mess of spirit. A beautiful disaster. I feel like my heart's being ripped out of me right now, but maybe I love it and hate it so much because it's so painful, but it reminds me that I'm real -- because it all involves people. Pain wouldn't be so intense if it weren't for other people. Love hurts. Isolation hurts because it's deprivation. It doesn't cause pain directly; it's indirectly. Deprivation.
So reality is togetherness. We are meant to be together.
"But you can take my hand in the darkness, darling
Like a length of rope"
A length of rope...a common thread that runs through all of us. Like a sewing needle that pierces right into all our hearts -- and that sting is so awful, but so amazing at the same time.
I don't know why we are allowed to suffer so much in the first place. I don't know why anything is the way it is. But...somehow, I feel it's okay.
I'm scared too. I don't want to go out into the world. It's scary. I don't want to be abused anymore. But we're together. Your little soul might be flickering far away, but it's in the same universe I'm in -- and I know that because 'you can take my hand in the darkness like a length of rope.' I know that the heart beating inside me is on the same thread as yours. Somewhere along the line, they meet up. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this right now.
I should try to sleep. I know you can make it. What's "making it"? Maybe we'll both spiral downward...but I think that's okay, as long as that flicker is there. Whatever happens at work, remember...no one can touch your heart. It's safe from everything. There's a thread running through it that nothing in this world can even fray.
So we have made a connection, then...there :) Someone has thought of you today, and is wishing you well. So you touched someone many miles away; and thank you, I needed that, it gets very difficult at times doing this all on my own. I appreciate it -- take care, and love to you :D
word
suffering is the only way to true strength. those who suffer know life to a much greater extent than those who have had life handed to them. the more we suffer, the more we can take. suffering is inevitable. this is a dark world. but the light is there. our job is to seek out that light. we must become strong and seek the light. it's always there, but it must be fought for to be found. nothing comes easy, and we are always tested.
one day we will all have peace. but until then we have each-other.
the wall
i dont need no walls around me. And i dont need no drugs to calm me. I hve seen the writing on the wall. Dont think I need anything at all- Roger Waters of Pink Floyd
The Wall
An extremely powerful and popular album about mental isolation- The Wall, by Pink Floyd. I'm sure many of us here could relate to its story
The wall
In the comftabaly numb clip,the rat symbolises the life u will have on drugs,and what drugs do long term,a horrible rat enfested life.
The rats death is also sybolic of those who succumed to thier addiction,
Thank God i made it,
8 years totaly clean now,
But life is lonley dark cold,
Better 2 get of drugs at 5 years as against 18 like me and what ever u do,do not take drugs into t your forties,its way to late then.
Bank the warning,warn others as well.