(Dis)Connection

 

This week I wrote a song heavily inspired by our class and discussions. I thought I'd share the link to it and the lyrics. Listening link below. 

https://helena-regina.bandcamp.com/track/dis-connection

(Dis) Connection 

 

Driving down the interstate matching skull pins from New Orleans 

He’s going on about all the work he wants to do all these crazy ambitious things

Calaveras kisses and mariachi bands and guests from out of state and it’s out of my hands

And it’s weird to feel so connected and also so lost in the hopefully chatter of his words

 

And I just want to feel connected to something that’s so brand new that
I get lost talking about it and answering questions I don’t understand

 

And where is the line between helping and haunting 

And where is the part where I’m hurting what I love

How do I keep my loved ones from the guillotine 

When I don’t even have my head on straight

 

Placing all the books in the boxes in the bins and I’m pulling rubber bands like I’m peeling skin

Saying that I’ve read that book already and recommending it to someone barred from and

Talking to the others and I don’t know their pasts and I shouldn’t even care, I’m not last

so I don’t have to feel caught in my guilt of being a college student who thinks she counts

 

And I just want to be in tune with the songs that they’re playing

On the radio as I pick another book of the shelf

 

And the where it is  the line between helping and hurting

And where is the part where I’m hurting where I love 

How do I keep my loved ones from the guillotine 

When I don’t even have my head on straight 

 

In class we think all these big thoughts like reform and changes and lofty ideas with books

And then we have all these talks and I can’t help feeling like a cat trapped in a box 

I can’t break myself out of the tape that holds me anymore that I can save someone else

I feel like stopping is the opposite of fixing but I don’t even think I’ve started yet 

 

And I just want to say smart and clever

But the words don’t want to come out in any way that matters

 

I don’t want to save anyone who doesn’t want me
But how do I even know who to ask 

 

I don’t want to leave anyone who needs me
But how do I even understand that 

 

 

And the where is the line between helping and hurting

And where is the part where I’m hurting where I love 

How do I keep my loved ones from the guillotine 

When I don’t even have my head on straight 

 

I don’t know

I don’t know 

Is it love 

I don’t love