English

Surfing Wikipedia today for my Technology in Education and Society class, I stumbled across the Bryn Mawr College page. Listed in the basic information section is our motto: Veritatem Dilexi--"I delight in the truth." 

            Doing the Rich reading this week has me thinking especially about gendered silences in literature, and the way that these translate into our daily lives. I feel like every time I read a female character in a novel, especially a classic, she is deemed powerful because of her ability to conceal, to keep secrets. I think of Rigoberta Menchú, a woman who was empowered by her silences as a member of a marginalized community even outside of being a woman. But I also think about characters in classic literature like Jo March from Little Women. Jo was daring and clever and meant to be a groundbreaking literary character, and yet, by the end of the novel, she has repressed her obvious queerness in order to conform.

For my shaping the silence activity, I decided to introduce the class to some yogic breathing. To give some background, I first learned yogic breathing when I was about nine or ten years old, from my grandfather. I was a rather anxious kid and my grandpa was convinced that learning controlled breathing would be really beneficial to me. He was right; it's a tactic that I use even now to help control my stress, focus, and center me. 

I began by telling the class to sit up straight to allow full breaths and place both feet on the floor. Hands could go on laps, or on the table; whichever was most comfortable. We did two different versions of yogic breathing:

Sitali Pranayama

To shape the silence at the beginning of class a number of weeks ago, I chose to lead a mirroring exercise. Here's the script I wrote and used:

When it comes to gendering silence it's a conversation I'm not looking forward to having, or at least it's one that lends me a great deal of confusion. I don't know how study silence as it relates to women; do I approach it from the 'outside' so to speak, as I do with race? Do I have any claim in that experience? Does it matter? It boils down to a personal question for me that I'm not sure I have the answer to: have I ever been a woman? I didn't have the vocabulary or concepts to explore that question when I was younger, but I always felt a 'disconnect' of sorts with gender, and I can't parse out what my younger self could have been thinking or feeling.

The fourth remarkable thing (really the most remarkable talk I heard) was by Anna Plemons, who first shared her working bibliography on Decolonizing Methodologies, then showed us clips from the film, At Night I Fly, emphasizing that it does not portray a narrative of uplift.

"Were the conditions not present for establishing the habits of creativity [. . .]? or--as instanced over and over--other claims, other responsibilities so writing could not be first? (The writer of a class, sex, color still marginal in literature, and whose coming to written voice at all against complex odds is exhausting achievement.) It is an eloquent commentary that this one-book silence has been true of most black writers; only eleven in the hundred years since 1850 have published novels more than twice" (Olsen 9).

I wonder if this was Anne's secret mysterious alterior motive, but upon reflecting on our reader-response activity and the density of Balaev's work, I have been thinking about how readers are silenced by literature. When we were discussing in class this sort of censorship of seemingly irrelevant reader-reactions which is a silencing of sorts. When we read out loud or to ourselves, there are thoughts that emerge in our minds and we silence them. But maybe that isn't so bad. Maybe mentioning a random craving for a grilled cheese is not productive or relevant. I think Balav's writing is reflective of a silencing academic form of writing. Academia often uses its prestige to silence marginalized or dissenting voices.

I have been in touch with Markus who is the sculpture professor at Haverford and he said I should be able to use the materials there but I will know more as to how much the cost will be once I sit down with him. In terms of costs of outside materials here is a breakdown:

Polyurethane or Shellac: ~$20

Plastic flowers: ~$20

Acryllic Paints: I should have enough paints left over from past projects, but I may need $10 worth or more colors?