Frustrated.

I found the play we read for class today ("Footfalls") incredibly silencing and frustrating because I couldn't understand what was happening and what I could take from it. When I read the play last night, I got angrier and angrier because I felt like I was being shut out. I hoped the experience of watching the play might be more enlightening, but was disappointed to realize I felt just as confused about the play at the end of it. I felt dumb for having to ask, especially because the attitude I got from Mark was that the theme was obvious – and for me, that definitely wasn't the case. I also didn't find his explanation of the actual happenings of the play helpful because I wanted to know what that meant.

I wanted this experience to be a learning experience for me. Listening to Mark and Katherine's explanations of their process and their thoughts on silence, I was really hopeful for a breakthrough in the play – instead, I struggled to connect their thoughts on silence back to what I was viewing in the play. I still don't know what the theme of the play even is. 

Maybe it's unfair for me to have asked for Mark's interpretation in the first place. It could be like when couldntthinkofanoriginalname asked Erin for a translation of her poem and was frustrated to be denied that access. On the other hand, I now feel as though I've missed out on something really important. Regardless of whether or not we return to this play in the next class, I feel like I've completely missed a learning opportunity and that makes me feel like I've wasted time. Anne said the play made her shudder, and I agree that I found it unsettling, but I find I'm too distracted by my utter lack of understanding to take this feeling any further.