Self-Evaluation

My amateur ideas of Feminism were rooted in a lack of exposure to the subject as a whole, especially its many implications and inclusions. Prior to this class the only exposure to Feminism was the occasional impassioned text post denouncing gender violence or slut shaming that would pop up on my Tumblr dashboard or article shared in my Facebook Newsfeed. My ideas of Feminism were not much more developed than the second-wave notion that women were fighting for equality in the home and the workplace. I’m now at a point where I’ve explained on several occasions the range of gender identities on the spectrum for my parents (they’re trying ardently to understand it, and I do appreciate their efforts), and have referred some of my friends to some of the readings that we did in class—I even influence a friend to consider taking the class. I’ve gleaned a more multi-faceted viewpoint of Feminism, and for that I am grateful that I took this class. As of right now I think I’m my way slowly but surely forming a picture of what my very own feminism looks like. I’ve got time, right?  

Given our class conversations about “queering” and “cripping” time, I have turned in all three of my web-events late by the 5pm deadline time, albeit they have been up on Serendip on Sunday still. I think that in this space, this allowed me more time to work on my essay, especially if my weekday homework piled up and I didn’t have enough time to get it all completed before I could give myself a significant amount of time to devote to these essays. With queer and crip time, I was able to write and think in my own time with less pressure of a time constraint–well, until the clock on the mantel in my room flash times past 9, 10, and 11 o’clock! But in other classes, I feel as though the lateness of my paper would be inappropriate because they follow a more standard, normative time schedule. But I also fear that with the greater implications of a normative time schedule, the greater the quality of my work diminishes for fear of the lateness.

Whenever there was an opportunity for small talk, I felt more comfortable sharing my viewpoint or confusion. It didn’t feel like I was competing for coveted class time, rather it had a more relaxed, more personal feeling and they made me feel more open to my individual expression. In terms of the larger group discussion, I do regret not speaking in class more. Being honest, I don’t think I played a role in our group dynamics. I didn’t contribute anything, really, to the learning of my classmates. For this I’m disappointed in myself. Not once in class did I offer to share any idea or experience that in any way reshaped or furthered another’s opinion. I really wish I had though, just a few times or even once would have been good enough. The only presence I’ve had in discussion is commenting on my peer’s posts or posting my web events.  

I enjoyed all of our readings, which is actually a first in an English class. All of the different mediums—whether it be a graphic novel, essay, video, or prose—I found myself interested in at least some aspect of our readings. Whether the discussions were about dreams and reality, accessibility, intersectionality, ecofeminism, power struggles in silence, Marxist feminism, taking up space, language as mimetic—you name it! I think I’m still not fully sure what exactly Feminism Unbound is, or that I’ll ever be. I am also interested in re-reading The Book of Salt.I think that it’ll help me grow as a reader to revisit that text, because I feel like there were so many deeper meanings and hidden subtexts that went over my head when I was rushing to read it in time for class discussion.

I think that my writing was stronger than anything else, but I think that it could have been more thoughtful, more detailed, and more patiently thought out. Every time I received a comment on one of my web events from a classmate or Anne, I immediately wanted to revise and resubmit my essay with their suggestions and concerns in mind. I think—and can only hope—that my comments on my classmates posts or web events were helpful in expanding on their ideas or interesting in raising a new way of thinking and bringing it to their attention. From my classmates and Anne, I often was given feedback that suggest different ways of going about topic, challenging a claim I had made, giving more information in links to other sources that would’ve been helpful to me in expanding my ideas, and positive notes for my strong points. In my writing for this class, I’ve learned to refine my way of presenting information, I’ve honed my researching skills, and my narrative tone has become freer, more expressive. For these personal improvements and despite participation setbacks, I’m grateful to have taken this class and I’m grateful for this experience.