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Lullabye

alesnick's picture
Submitted by alesnick on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 7:14pm

lines and colors of menacing lullaby, a child
trapped inside a wooden sub
my brave painting --

changes.
ribbons  cuts   and    writings.
watchful eyes of a figure at the top
turn to loops, now

magnets.
also small gently pillared dwellings,
mini mausolea maybe


now when the cradle starts to fall
the magnets pull it to


now somebody sings a yellow song
now a swirled one
now a baby bounces

when the wind blows
the artist breathes

-- Alice Lesnick, 2012

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Comments

alesnick's picture

thanks!

Submitted by alesnick on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 10:52pm.

I just found these comments on my poem.  Fun.

Jambi's picture

Sound is good "now somebody

Submitted by Jambi (guest) on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 3:06am.

Sound is good "now somebody sings a yellow song"

jrlewis's picture

Thanks for joining in the

Submitted by jrlewis on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 6:39pm.

Thanks for joining in the conversation!  Because of your comment, I noticed the internal rhyme in this line- now, yellow.  Very good sounds.  Are you a writer or just someone with a good ear?

interloper's picture

I love the phrases "menacing

Submitted by interloper on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:59pm.

I love the phrases "menacing lullaby" and "mini mausolea". And this; baby bounces/wind blows/artist breathes. A lot of conflicting emotion and tension, but i think it resolves at the end when the artist breathes.

alesnick's picture

yes, that resolution is what

Submitted by alesnick on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 10:53pm.

yes, that resolution is what i was going for -- kind of a settling in.

interloper's picture

It worked.

Submitted by interloper on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:50am.

It worked.

interloper's picture

painting

Submitted by interloper on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:30pm.

I would love to see the painting, having read the poem. Is there a photo of it?

Serendipitaz's picture

Yellow song...what a bright

Submitted by Serendipitaz on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 11:36pm.

Yellow song...what a bright imagery.

jrlewis's picture

A Lullabye of a Poem

Submitted by jrlewis on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 11:32pm.

I think you raise an interesting point here- is poetry an adult lullabye?  There are certainly similarities in form and style: repetition, meter, rhyme, etc. Also poetic license, or bending sense to sound and rhythem.  They are both recited.  Yet poetry also exists in print.  So perhaps your piece is a translation of a lullabye into a poem? 

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