nia.pike's blog

This link came up on my facebook feed just now and I had to share. Not only because I love these two-minute faith-in-humanity videos, but because it reminded me of the section on staring we did in class earlier this semester. Staring and body language are the two silent ways we express ourselves. This video reflects how in the time span of ten minutes the body language of two complete strangers can go from awkward to reflecting and expressing true intimacy. It illustrates that even the briefest of moments can ignite a deeper emotional response. Now, I'm sure the same can happen in a negative light. The briefest of moments can ignite a negative response, which I believe connects to our conversation on disabilities and society's definition of "normal." Even the quickest down-grading glance is an unspoken insult. The one who gives the stare or the harsh body language is only re-enforcing societal stigmas. We need to watch not only what comes directly out of our mouths, but also the words which we do not speak through our eyes, arms, and bodies. There's the childhood phrase "sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me!" Well, in my experience I find the unspoken words of body language and the emptiness of silence to be more painful than any utterance.

**trigger warning**

Law and Order SVU, is one of my guilty media pleasures. Every week, I find an hour for me to indulge in this show. This evening, while catching up on last week's episode, I saw it through a directly feminist lens. SVU brings to light during prime time television (on a national network no less) many issues that face women in a  way that many may not be aware of. For example, one episode opens with a woman trying to purchase Plan B at a pharmacy because her husband had raped her. The pharmacist denies her the medicine, thus denying her the choice of pregnancy. Women are still forced to have their rapist's baby because other people, not involved in the situation involve themselves in the situation, indirectly making decisions for those involved. The ability of a pharmacist to deny a woman access to medicines she is entitled to have is an unfortunate way-of-life that many are not aware of. Plan B is an invaluable resource. And everyone who wants it should have access to it. Another episode shed light on the prevalent rape of women in the military. A female Marine was impregnated by a rape by an officer in a higher rank, which does occur in the United States military, and is usually swept under the rug. But the team at SVU fought to bring the rapist to justice. Also the main character in the series is Olivia Benson, a detective who has a personal connection to the rape victims at SVU because she, herself is also a victim.

After our class discussion on Tuesday about the situation involving an application to Smith College from a transwoman. Her name is Calliope Wong. She was denied admittance to Smith simply because her FAFSA utilized male pronouns, even though of the rest of her application materials: letters of rec, transcript, and all other paperwork uses female pronouns. According to one source I found, she had been in contact with the Dean of Admissions prior to applying to Smith. The dean told her that as long as her paperwork used female pronouns, her application would be considered. However, the FAFSA used male pronouns for Calliope Wong. In response, Smith sent out this letter stating "Our expectation is that it is consistently reflected throughout the application that the student is a woman. Upon reviewing your file, this is not the case. Your FAFSA indicates your gender as male. Therefore, the college cannot process your application."

I just changed my avatar name because I felt my previous name was too identifiable as me. My new avatar name is my middle name and my mother's maiden name. So it is still me, but a distanced version of myself. Yet, despite the distance my words on this blog are my own. But the distance is necessary because I do not perform (see my web event below for more information on performing for society) the same for everyone because I am afraid of the conservative, close-minded society I come from. When writing my web event, I struck a chord deep within me that I do not reveal to everyone in my life. And thus because this blog is a public forum, I do not want my resignification (again see my web event) to be revealed preemptively. I am not ready to face the music if certain people happen upon this forum and figure out it is me, then read all my postings. Instead I would rather do it in my own way and in my own time, because I am not ready for that time yet. Thank y'all for understanding.

"Put on a dress!"

"Don't sit like that, be more ladylike!"

"Look more ladylike."

"A woman must look nice to attract a man to look after her."

"All those gays are going to Hell!" 

"Find yourself a nice man."

"Be more normal!"

I know a lot of people chose to truly put themselves out there with their anti-self portraits today. And I admire their choice. I would like to speak a few words on why I chose to address myself from a more general view. Because I did not put my name next my anti-self portrait, I shall tell y'all which one was mine. Mine was the one of a faceless person split into four parts surrounded by eyes and hands. My anti-self portrait addresses parts of who I am and parts of my life that I am still trying to figure out myself and reassociate myself with. I was not be as in depth as I wanted to be because I do not even understand who I am, so how can I attempt to portray it to others. But this experience of seeing many others' raw emotions and life experiences has inspired me to do this exercise again in the future, perhaps 6 months or a year from now, to see how I have or have not changed in how I chose to let others see me.

I wanted to share these thoughts with y'all via Serendip because I will admit I felt uneasy in the class with Haverford students because they had not shared in this jounrey we have been taking as a class this semester. I have a level of comfort with y'all as we support each other's explorations in sex, gender, feminism, and beyond.

So I was procrastinating doing my homework (not for this class though!) and wandered on to Tumblr, where my productivity screeched to a stand still.  Then as a part of my meanderings I came across one Tumblr blog entitled Feminist Media: Taking back the media. Here it is! Several of the posts are about whether or not certain Disney movies could be considered feminist or not. The one that caught my eye was the one about Mulan. As a child, I always wanted to watch the movie Mulan as she became my childhood idol. I know all of the words to "I'll Make a Man Out of You!"

Before I entered this course, Mulan would have been my go-to suggestion of a femminist movie. Now, after learning about the different types of feminism, I understand that Mulan is only one type of feminism. Perhaps Mulan could be viewed through the lens of more than one type of feminism. It is true she portrayed herself as a man to enter the army in her father's place, like the members of the first wave of feminism. But when she ultimately saves China at the end of the film, she does it as a woman, like the second wave of feminism. By the end of the film, she knows who she is, and she knows she does not have to pretend any more. Her assumption is true; Shang, the Emperor, and the rest of China respect her as a powerful and inspirational woman.

As children we are frequently told not to stare because it is rude. However, the brief 4 minute video clip by Rosemarie Garland-Thomson, a professor at Emory  I watched for next week's class confirmed my suspicion that staring is a natural desire. This instinct reflects the desire our brains have to absorb as much of a novel stimuli as possible. No matter how natural it may be, if an action does not conform to society's pre-determined norms, then we are told when we are young and malleable that it is not appropriate. Unfortunately in many cases this fact is true for other things as well, including the discussion of sex, gender, sexuality, etc. Although this conversation takes place relatively openly at Bryn Mawr, this occurrence is not common outside of the Bryn Mawr bubble. I repeatedly realize this statement each time I go home for winter or summer break. Where I come from the conversation does not flow freely. The conversation does not flow freely because society has deemed that it is an inappropriate topic. Soceity restricts itself, even though the origins of these restrictions were "to keep people safe." This statement ironically makes the assumption that we are not safe from ourselves: our own thoughts and our own actions. As a scientist I find it strange that humans, who are at the top of almost every ecosystem food or energy chain, are our own worst enemies.

I came across the following article while perusing the internet. I don't know how to put a link to the article in my Serendip post, so I'll just post the URL:

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/07/30/why-male-pregnancy-matters/

The article begins with the introduction of a new advertising campaign in Chicago meant to take an alternative approach than the usual slut-shaming of teen pregnancy campaigns. Thus, the Chicago Department of Public Health came out with the following adevrtisements:

This advertising campaign is manipulating the binary sense of gender to bring awareness that the effects of teen pregnacies do not just affect who is carrying the baby. However, by doing so brings up the fact that transgendered men can have children. And that the borders of gender are not black and white as this advertisement implies. Gender is not a binary and it is not defined by one's ability to bear children or not. In fact, I think this advertisement further installs transphobia in society with its caption of "Unexpected?" next to these images. It can be said they are using pregnant male bodies as shock value to perputate transphobia.

I put these images up on our blog as food for thought in many different realms. Our class discussions on how to define gender. How media portrays gender. How media influences us. How we disagree with media, but don't know how to react. How society is controlled by media. 

I come from a conservative household in the South, where the discussions we are having in class and the readings we do for class would never be spoken about. These topics are taboo where I come from. Even though I'm from a large city, which is culturally very different than the rural south, there are still so many stigmas associated with not conforming to "norms." If one does not fit into a certain predetermined box, they are pushed to the edges of society, from which it is hard (but not impossible) to return from. During our exercise on Thursday, Ester drew a picture of me breaking out a box. That's a pretty accurate description of me. I do not think metaporphical, pre-determined boxes should have any part in society, in fact they hinder society. However, I honestly grew up in a box. It was a box with walls of expectations. I was never comfortable in that box. Yet it was not until I was old enough to think for and make significant decisions by myself that I began to question and tear apart my box. I wish I had begun this process earlier because I know now how much of an impact those walls had on me as a person. Our childhood molds us, but it does not make us who we are. I'm still discovering who I am, and am excited to have this class be a part of that journey.