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Knowing the Body
2004 First Web Report
On Serendip

Self-Validation and Social Acceptance

Mar Doyle

People often need to have validation from themselves, in regard to both their sexuality and general self, before being able to be accepted others. Too often this important fact is disregarded by today's culture and societal norm. This appears to be a recurring theme throughout the many passages and articles we have read in class, as well as in various piece of fictional literature.

I will be using the 1991 film "Paris Is Burning," a short work of fiction by Jane S. Fancher called "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood," the lecture given by Carolyn Dinshaw on the twenty-third of September, and Cherrie Moraga's "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind" to support my thesis.

Originally, I started thinking about this paper in a manner quite different from that which will be shown here. I thought I knew everything I had learned and that I could take a single idea and 'run with it,' as the saying goes. Then I began reviewing the articles and rereading my classmates' posts. I have always had an unusual interest in how 'outsiders' interact with a society that tends to be somewhat exclusive. Being on the receiving end to this sometimes painful exclusiveness, having had a disability from an early age, the ideas of censorship and prohibition toward people discovering themselves intrigued me.

Due to illness, I watched "Paris Is Burning" after sending in my original plan for this paper. I was impressed by the complexity of the homosexual community in New York during the eighties. Despite the fact that all of these men were living outside of societal norms, they had a sense of belonging and home. They created Houses and families to replace what they had lost, but also to give them something they had not experienced in their previous lives: acceptance by society. When these men knew who they were and took their sexuality as a powerful piece of self, they began a search for others who would accept them as well. Once they found validation in themselves and their community, these men were hard to shake. One, who worked for an escort service, claims that he was quite frightened and literally jumped out of a window when one of his clients discovered he was a man, but this incident did not make him question his sexuality or the validity of his lifestyle.1

In Fancher's mystical take on Beauty and the Beast, "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood," sexuality and security take on new meanings. Tammerlindh, the Beast figure, is a beast by day, but by moonlight he takes his natural form, that of a true hermaphrodite, or Rakshi. Mother, who may perhaps be Tammerlindh's father, curses him with the shape of a beast because he does not love himself, choosing to appear as a male to his lovers rather than expose his true self. After being cursed, Khendar and his father come across the Rakshi, and Tammerlindh takes them into his home out of a mixture of pity and generosity. When Khendar's father leaves Tammerlindh's estate, Khendar, who cares greatly for the Rakshi, though he thinks it a beast, remains with Tammerlindh. When Khendar learns that Tammerlindh is Rakshi, that is, both male and female, Tammerlindh's self-hatred comes to the fore and he attempts to commit suicide rather than face rejection from the man he loves. Through the story, Khendar, the Beauty figure, and the entity Tammerlindh calls "Mother," repeatedly tell him that he is worthy of love. The Rakshi believe otherwise, protesting, "No one can love that – creature.2" Khendar learns first hand that his would-be lover must accept himself before their relationship can grow. After he demands that Tammerlindh be returned to his true hermaphrodite form, Mother replies, "Until he accepts what he is, loves what he is, true love can't touch him. By his choice.3" Of course, the two lovers are given a fairy tale ending, and Tammerlindh learns to accept his/her duality and consents to becoming Khendar's lover.4

During her enlightening lecture, Dinshaw examined the growth and censorship of the lesbian, gay, and queer culture in the United States and the world at large. She put a large focus upon 'the queer nineties,' that is, the time during the 1990's when the homosexual culture readopted the term 'queer' and began to have a new affect on society, pushing their 'outsideness' into mainstream society. Queers learned to accept themselves and form their own groups and social constructs within their own so-called deviant societies. Some homosexuals have had trouble accepting themselves and these communities, giving rise to articles such as "Lesbians Who Sleep with Men." As society developed and queerness slowly began integrating itself into the mainstream, something that is still occurring today, the queer society became more accepted by others. The members of this outside community, having accepted themselves and each other, were prepared to be validated and accepted by the so-called normal, predominately heterosexual society. Once the homosexual community endorsed itself with its gay districts in cities, homosexual magazines, and homosexual literature, among other sundry items, it was prepared to take on the dominant culture. It has taken to this challenge with gusto, as evidenced in popular culture with movies such as "Velvet Goldmine" or "Y Tu Mama, También" and books such as At Swim, Two Boys. After knowing itself, queer culture is ready to be known by others.5

Finally, Cherrie Moraga's "Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind" only serves to reinforce the recurring idea that validation of self is necessary before one may be supported and confirmed by others. Moraga draws heavily on her personal experience as a mixed-race lesbian who lived in a strongly heterosexual, racially divided world. She discusses the difficulty of being a "mixed-blood Mexican6" in a predominantly white world. Moraga, during some of her writing, seems content to be ill-defined and have public self rather than a private self. She claims, "In her world, I'm just white7..." Later, she learns to define herself by her own measures, rather than by the opinions and statistics of those around her. In the beginning, Moraga says, "I only wanted to feel myself so much a Mexican8...", but she concludes with the line, "I live up to the mixed-raced legacy his people have betrothed to me.9" In accepting herself, she is allowing herself to be accepted by others.10

As our dominant culture continues to stretch and to grow, many of the once deviant outside groups become more mainstream. In these pieces, most of which can be considered less than deviant, and certainly not morally reprehensible, as they might have only a few decades ago, people, such as Pepper Labeija, Tammerlindh, and Cherrie Moraga, learn to come to grips with the realities of themselves, even if they have less than pleasant outcomes. Pepper Labeija faced the fear of coming out in an era that did not condone homosexuality. Tammerlindh learns to love itself, learning that being both male and female is not something shameful. Cherrie Moraga is taught that she exist in the two opposing spheres of being Mexican and being white without betraying either culture.

After exploring these four sources of information and integrating my own knowledge of culture, self, and the importance of being accepted by both, as well as the hope for support by society, any society, whether a so-called deviant community or the dominant society as a whole, I came to a conclusion. Looking at the issues of both sexual and racial differences, the validation that people crave is hard to find, especially within one's own self, but vital to one's own existence as an independent entity. Each author or director or speaker seems to be preaching the same message, despite dissimilarities in content, theme, and execution. To be accepted by a larger group, one must feel validated in one's own choices. For a deviant group to be accepted by the dominant society, its members must feel accepted by themselves and by one another. Faith in one's cause and spirit never hurt anyone, either, as shown in "Paris Is Burning" and "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood."

End Notes

1. Paris Is Burning, directed by Jennie Livingston, Prestige Films, 1990.

2. 312. Fancher, Jane S. (2002), "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood," in The 30th Anniversary DAW Fantasy Anthology, ed. Elizabeth R. Wollheim and Sheila E. Gilbert, New York, DAW Books.

3. 332. Fancher, Jane S. (2002), "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood," in The 30th Anniversary DAW Fantasy Anthology, ed. Elizabeth R. Wollheim and Sheila E. Gilbert, New York, DAW Books.

4. 309 – 333. Fancher, Jane S. (2002), "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood," in The 30th Anniversary DAW Fantasy Anthology, ed. Elizabeth R. Wollheim and Sheila E. Gilbert, New York, DAW Books.

5. Carolyn Dinshaw, lecture on Gay, Lesbian, and Queer Studies, Haverford College, Haverford, PA, 23 September 2004.

6. 231. Moraga, Cherrie (1996), "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind," in Names We Call Home: Autobiography on Racial Identity, ed. Becky Thompson and Sangeeta Tyagi, New York, Routeledge.

7. 234. Moraga, Cherrie (1996), "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind," in Names We Call Home: Autobiography on Racial Identity, ed. Becky Thompson and Sangeeta Tyagi, New York, Routeledge.

8. 234. Moraga, Cherrie (1996), "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind," in Names We Call Home: Autobiography on Racial Identity, ed. Becky Thompson and Sangeeta Tyagi, New York, Routeledge.

9. 238. Moraga, Cherrie (1996), "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind," in Names We Call Home: Autobiography on Racial Identity, ed. Becky Thompson and Sangeeta Tyagi, New York, Routeledge.

10. Moraga, Cherrie (1996), "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind," in Names We Call Home: Autobiography on Racial Identity, ed. Becky Thompson and Sangeeta Tyagi, New York, Routeledge,




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