Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Fri Jan 17 14:50:34 EST 1997
Comments:
It's been over a month since either one of us has used this playground...That's too long. I'm sorry about yelling at you & being such a bitch. It seems like we've been doing a lot of arguing and not enough discussing, lately. What happened to the times when we just argreed to disagree and then tried to understand each other???? It's like we're now comforatable enough to yell and scream, but I'm not sure that we should be doing like we are. Remember when we used to worry because we didn't argue enough? We were stupid. We should have basked in that moment. I realize that I'm making a big deal out of something that isn't that major...we don't argue that much it's just that for us we do more than we should. Oh, just so you know: When we do get upset with each other you don't have to worry that I'll be so pissed that I won't tell you and ultimately end our relationship, that would never happen. I could never do that. I'm soooo exhausted from walking and being out in the cold... I hope you had fun in class. And I am sorry for embarrassing you earlier. I love you so ver much. Blaire

Name: Michael
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Fri Feb 28 15:44:58 EST 1997
Comments:
Blaire, i hope you found this here. we have not used this page in so long i am not worried about he arguing thing, i think we are working things out and will be more conscious of such things in the future. listen next wednesday i do not have my w103 class, because we are using those two days to conference with our teacher. i will just meet you at the bus stop. if you have any questions about this just ask. my mom was cool. she said she was sorry that she got sooo upset and just wanted me to realize how lucky i am. i think it will still be cool for us to got there for spring break. what do yo think of this idea. we tell your parents she is going to pick us up friday of spring break which really she won't and will pick us up saturday you can stay the night and we will be all rested when she picks us up. what do you think? it does not look like anyone else has used this page at all. i think it would be cool for you to go to bryn mawr and then you could show all your new friends this page and make them jealous of you and i. it also provides a cheep way to communicate. what are you doing tonight. i had a dream about you last night. extremely intense. we were having some sort of trouble with our relationship and the rest is a little foggy. i miss you today it is friday and you are usualy here and even thought i know i have a test and that that is why you are not here i still miss you. i do not know what i am going to do when you go away to college. sometimes when i think about it i find myself crying. i love you so much and i will miss you so much. i do not know what i will do without you in my life. i mean i know you will be involved because we will keep in touch on the phone and e-mail and stuff,but it will not even be close to the same. i am sorry to end this letter on such a sower note, but these are the things which enter my mind and you said we should discuss them. i just have to learn to deal. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. ----Michael (who else did you think it was from)

Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Sat Mar 1 08:47:55 EST 1997
Comments:
Michael, Yes, I found your message(obviously), thank you. I am really glad that you & your mother worked things out. It is horrible to fall from the graces of your parents and the two of you have such a great relationship that it would be sorrowful to let anything spoil it. I agree that we are working out the arguing thing and that it isn't a problem. I just worry about these things because I wouldn't want anything so small to become a potentially great problem. We are o.k., scratch that, we are wonderful... About the Spring Break thing: I am not so sure that it is the best idea to lie to my parents about that, for if we were found out(yes there are ways they can find out) there would be hell to pay & I then may not be able to go on Spring Break with you as a consequence of those actions. Does this make any sense? Last night I had SOOO much fun!!! Bethany picked me up and we went shopping at Expresss, the entire back half of the store is only 10 dollars!!! Things that were once 70 or 80 are only ten!!! I am having real regrets about this dress I am wearing today--You'll see why... Anywyas then we went to a new, good, cheap Italian place for dinner and then here to the union for a jazz concert...It was fun but got a little boring in the end. We were going to go to a party but we weren't sure which house it was since there are 3 brich house onthe corner of Jordan and Atwater(the 4th is stone). It was late anyways so we decided not to go. It was a great girl bonding evening!!! I,too, am really sickened by the thought of going away to college and not having you in my life on a daiy basis. I am scared of the consequences of it, but I have a month before I know anything and it may be that I don't even go But if I do we will survive I love you too much to just let us fall apart. It will hurt like nothing I have ever known but we will be o.k. I am really trying not to think about it until I have to because I keep running in circles. If there is ever anything you need to tell me about this(or anything else) please feel free to regardless of whether it is positive or negative esp. if it is negative. I want to know how you feel. I miss you and can't wait to see you in only a few short hours( about two) I love you until the depths of my sould and te bottom of my heart. Yours, Blaire (NO, not Sarah--your other girlfriend!!!)

Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Mar 5 12:01:51 EST 1997
Comments:
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!ALWAYS...

Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Tue Mar 11 13:06:56 EST 1997
Comments:
Blaire, i was just surfing the net and thought i would send you a letter here. i can not wait until spring break. i hope you are not upset about doing those things with my parents and stuff. we will still have a lot of time to do things together,a lot. we need to figure out what we are going to do with bethany on wednesday, is she staying the night at my mothers or what? i do not care but i do need to give my mother a few minutes of warning. i hope she can not arrange a meeting with my finite professor, i do not want to get into an argument with her, since we are staying at her house and everything. i think my father will be cool, although i am thinking of informing him that i am thinking about taking a semester or two off and would like to live in bloomington using his car as transportation. do you think he will go for it? yah right. he will be cool about it with you there though. or do you think i should say anything? i want to look in the paper with you this afternoon so we can have a price for an apartment. i think with me taking time off, if you go away i will be able to deal with it better. i also think that if you stay i will have lost of time to spend with you and lots of money to spend on you. either way i think i will be very happy, but i guess we will see what happens. i will let you go now and i will see you this afternoon, in about two hours and thirty minutes. i love you, Michael

Name: anonymous
Username: Blaire
Subject: Michael
Date: Tue Mar 25 12:54:02 EST 1997
Comments:
I cannot believe all of the foul language I used while writing--that's so bad! I am incredibly bummed about this college thing because if Macalester and Grinnell don't hink I am good enough then why will all the ohters? I will be so unhappy if I don't get into Bryn Mawr...All I can do is wait to see. Spring Break was incredible!!! Yours, Blaire

Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Mon Mar 31 15:18:22 EST 1997
Comments:
Blaire, neither of us have written in a long time. do you still check this page to see if i have written anything. i had a lot of fun this weekend. i am early for one of my classes and i thought i would write you. i have already written you on the e-mail, but i have not written behind the jungle gym for some time. i often check quickly to see if you have written and do not have time to write myself. no word back from jiffy treat or the bank. i will call the bank this afternoon when i get out of my class. Jiffy treat i will wait until thursday, maybe wednesday and call to see if the position has been filled. i want them to know how intereted i am. i was looking in the paper today and there are apartments that are in the want ads that say they are available in august. i may call some of them this weekk to see if i would need to put something down or could that wait until later in the summer. what do you think the deal is. i am becoming more and more comfortable with you leaving. not that i don't still love you and want you here, but i just come to accept that you will not be. i will probably cry a lot when you leave, you know i will see you off at the airport. i loved spring break. it was so close to being on our own and being together i loved it. we did not have to check with anyone when we wanted to go somewhere or ask anyone for their car so we could go somewhere. i think that is why we go along so well..we did not have to worry about the stupid shit and could concentrate on each other. i thought maybe this summer i could work on some of my stories in my free time. i would have my computer their and would have lots of free time. why not huh? i do not knwo if i could ever be good enough to be published, but if i did that would kick ass. maybe then i would not have to worry about money so much. i could enjoy my life doing what i love and loving what i am doing. i know these are all just great fantasies and dreams, but heh we all need to do that once in a while. i think you should. some times you are so caught up in looking at the bad and worst side of things that you hardly look at the great and wonderful possibilities. i wrote often when i wass younger, now i am older and can write better and i have more experiences with which to write about. that is what writing is all about. writing about what you know, because those are the thing which you can best describe and evoke emotion from. am i stupid? i think maybe when you go off to college you will be with all these brainiacks and realize how truly smart and brilliant you and they are and subsuquently discover how simple and stupid i am. all of these are random thoughts and i do not want to hold too much weight to any of them. yes somewhere inside i must think this or i would not have said them, but i do not believe in them very strongly or i would not have buried them. i will talk to you late and i love you. p.s. i wonder if anyone reads these. not that i really care, but i am curious. if there is anyone who reads these, please do not be bashful drop us a line and say hello. i love you, Michael

Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Tue Apr 1 07:44:31 EST 1997
Comments:
Dear Michael, What this you said about visiting three times and writing and me not replying? there is only the most recent message, that I am replying to now. I am confused!! I think your apartment thing will work out splendidly...You have thought everything out thoroughly and I don't forsee any major problems for you. It will be cool for you to be on your own with no one to answer to but yourself... Yes, dreams and fantasies are wonderful, essential to life. Writing in your spare time is a great idea, I think you are really talented...Your st ories all have a unique feel and style. And so what if they aren't published, what matters is what they mean to you and that you enjoy writing. That they make you happy, that's the important part of life. It is good that you have sort of adjusted to me going away, but I still have to do that, and moreover I need to adjust to the possiblity of staying...I just have to make the most of whatever situation I find myself in, and enjoy it. No, I won't find myself a mist a sleuth of brainiacs-- they are the ones that beat out for a spot in all of those schools! But if I did, I KNOW I wouldn't suddenly discover that you are "stupid and simple" (in your words), I know that is the farthest thing from the truth. YOu are not simple nor stupid, if the truth be told you are quite complex and know so much...I honestly don't have very good relationships with stupid people, and you and I have a beautiful relationship!!!!Not to mention I don't judge people but their "relative intelligence or accomplishemnts" I know everyone has thieir own thing. I love you Michael and wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself and realize how remarkable you are. I have to go, I wish that you wouldn't bury your feelings within all those words,and would tell ME how you feel so that I can make you realize how I really percieve you, and then you'd know that I value you on many levels, intelligence being only one of them. I love you,wookie!!! I will see you this afternoon. Blaire

Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Apr 2 13:14:58 EST 1997
Comments:
WRITE TO ME!!!!!WRITE TO ME!!!!YOU NEED TO RESPOND MORE OFTEN!!!!!

Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Thu Apr 3 13:25:18 EST 1997
Comments:
hey, wha't up? i am starting to come to terms with moving out on my own and speaking with my father. i will just tell him, after all there is nothing he can do about it. as far as the stupid and simple thing goes, i just notice, not all the time but sometimes that you come up with these complex ideas i can not understand and use these words that i do not understand. none of this is your fault, you are who you are and i do not want to change this, but sometimes i just feel like i am a stupid oaf and that maybe you could do a lot better with some smarter guy. my mother i am going to kill. she has not care for the last two weeks about meeting wheeler and now when i call her it is all she wants to talk about. it is like she gets into these tracks of thinking and gets derailed sometimes, but always gets back on that track. you are right about me putting things off, especially when it comes to talking with my father. i just fear him sometimes and even when i know how he will react he surprises me, but then the next time he does exactly what i think he will. i neve know what to expect anymore. There are a couple reasons i want to move out of my house. the first is that i want to take some time off of school. if i live at home my dad will cop an attitude real quick like he did with my sister. second is that i want to live in bloomington. i love this town and can afford living here with jobs. third i want to be with you as long as possible. we have little time left until you leave and if i live here in blooming to we will have more flexible scheldules to work with rather than me just coming down every other weekend because i am not allowed to use the car. i think it will be pretty cool when you go to bryn mawr. you will sorta have your own page. although your friends will be able to read it and that will be weird. i won't have a problem with it. there is nothing too juicy on this page. i will be working late tonight, but i will call you like ten thirty or so. i love very much and can't wait to see you this weekend. love ya, Michael

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Mon Apr 7 08:37:42 EDT 1997
Comments:
Dear Michael, I hope that I helped to get rid of your fears about me falling for some brainiac guy when I go away to school...It is unfounded...and if I honestly considered you unintelligent then I wouldn't be here now, because what knid of relationship can one have with a stupid person? Not a very good one and you and I have a wonderful relationship. I love everything about, from your sense of humor that prevents me from ever staying mad at you for more athn 2 seconds to your talent in writng, to your sexy bod and overwhelmingly handsome face to your ability to communicate, to your kindness and gentleness to your the great sound effects you can make to the way you always try with me to make things the best ( as they always are)...and everything in between. As Always, Blaire

Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Fri Apr 11 15:44:10 EDT 1997
Comments:
Just wanted to tell you that I love you and in my eyes you have done nothing but succeed...you are a victim of circumstance hence not all the blame can fall on your shoulders...You are an amazing person in many ways, and I am not the only one who feels this way. Regardless of how your luck falls at times people don't just stop loving you...You are special, you have your head on straight and are an adult who makes GREAT, thought decsions that best benefit you...and that is somehting to be proud of. Yours, Blaire

Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Mon Apr 14 16:00:18 EDT 1997
Comments:
Blaire, thanks for the tip about the password. i have changed it and hopefully i can remember it now. i have arranged to look at the apartment on 5th and fairview this saturday at 11:00am. i was thinking that your mother can bring you into towna and then we can all look at it together. if it is nice and at a good price, which i can not remember right now i will go ahead and sign up for it. it is what i want. it is in town and if it is nice than great and if it is at an affordable price than it makes sense to grab it while i still am able to. i just hope that the credit check thing will go o.k.. i think it will sense i will inform her in advance of my situation and all. just wanted to write a quick note. i will call you tonight. i love you. do you understand that. i tis not just a couple of words i use to express my feelings it is real. the limits to which my love extencds are endless and the things i would do for you the woman i love are infinite. i hope you understand this. i don't just say i mean, live and express it whenver possible. Michael

Name: anonymous
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Tue Apr 15 08:35:46 EDT 1997
Comments:
Dear Michael, (I still have your whalebone straw in my bag...I just realized this). Yes, I have never ever questioned the extent of your feelings or for a mere moment thought they were just simple words...For me loving you is the most wonderful cherished feeling, and having your love in return is magical. I do want you to realize that regardless of where I am in the fall,THERE WILL BE TIME FOR US!!!I am positive of this, because I can choose to spend my time however I please, and it pleases me to be with you. granted,there are no guarantees, just like there aren't now, as far as the EXACT, precise moment that we have with each other, but we will be fine and have a lot of time to enjoy each other. Please understand all of this and relieve yourself of unnecessary worry. I love you with all of my heart and soul, Michael. Yours, Blaire

Name: adolph spitser
Username: ADOLPT88@CONCENTRICNET
Subject:
Date: Tue Apr 22 02:13:09 EDT 1997
Comments:
Is it just me or is the male/female species on this ball of dirt ALL suffering from a terminal case of gender biased brain vomit? why do gals feel the need to automaticly expect all males want imediate felatio? [or am i just over-dossing on surge and being parinoid?]

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Tue Apr 22 12:30:59 EDT 1997
Comments:
DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT OTHER PERSON WROTE? That is just sick, sick, sick... I don't have time to write much...I will just see you later. I love you!

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Thu Apr 24 13:49:12 EDT 1997
Comments:
Hi, there! I really miss you right now, I know I will be able to talk to you on the phone tonight, but I miss being near you. I REALLY cannot wait until I start school and can spend time with you without haveing to get permission to do so...I don't know what my deal is, just at times I allow myself to be overwhelmed on the sheer excellence of you and I...overwhelmed more I supppose by the depth of my feelings for you, which truly cannot be measured...to attempt to do so would be a great injustice to what we are so lucky to have found in each other. I love you so very much with all of my heart and soul...you make life so much more enjoyable and give somehting to me that is so precious, at times I can't believe how lucky I am to have someone as wonderful as you love me...it is times like those that I feel like the most beautiful creature to ever step onto this planet, because you are worthy of no less than that. You really are my sun, in some way every- thing always comes back to you ...you have become my best friend the one person I know I will never have to hold back with, and the one person who cares so much that an understanding will always be reached...thank you for that, I cherish you. Yours, Blaire

Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Mon Apr 28 16:05:19 EDT 1997
Comments:
Blaire, i do not think the comments written by that person were towards us. if they were i do not see how they make since. i would rather enjoy someone in here other than us chillin and talking. i will take friday off and next weekend we can spend some time out at your house together. i think i want to have my father come down this weekend for a powow. what do ya think? i was thinking of having him come down on saturday and we could discuss stuff. i probably wont though simply for the sole fact that it would suck and we completely nerve wracking. it is o.k. oif blaine is there next weekend i mean no i am not happy about that but if we find something and think ahead of time of something which entertain him so we can talk it will all be good. i have been studying all day for the test i have in w103 i hope i do well but we'll see. it is thirty five minutes. my mother called this morning at like quarter till ten and i think i yelled at her. i will call her tonight and apologize just in case. she heard i guess that i had spoked with dad and wanted to know if i had TALKED with him i told her know and explained about the money situation. she told me that i should tell him soon or he is going to wonder what the fuck. i don't care though. when this bill is paid i will feel free to talk with him but for now i am afraid that he will not pay the bill if i tell him i will be taking time off of school i went to forest (foster) which ever today and spoke with supervisor. unfortunate this was not the surpervisor who is in charge of hiring new employees. i filled a card out and he said he would give it to the guy in charge. hopefully i will be hire. i also stopped by the bears underground underworld or whatever and thinking this was what you mean aksed if they were going to be hiring for the summer and the guy said no because they were doing so bad. he said they have laid off 60% of their workforce so far and will have to close down if things do not improve next year. oh well i am glad i don't work their i guess. if i get done with this paper early i will call you but probably not because i have not even started on it and it is a five page paper for p251 it should be easy once i start it is just that matter which concerns me. i would not worry about the phantom writer it is a free country and she has the right to say whatever she feels. besides she does not know us will never know us. well i think i have written a long enought letter i will e-mail and tell you that i have actually put someting on this page. love ya Michael

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Wed Apr 30 12:32:22 EDT 1997
Comments:
That message you wrote was more like an email, byt our styles are just different... I have no time, the bell just rang so I have to go...more later.Love you. BlaireP.S.can't wait for peanut buster parfaits1

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Mon May 5 13:37:56 EDT 1997
Comments:
I JUST WROTE A HUGE MESSAGE AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY HIT THE "ERASE FIELD" BUTTONE, THUS ALL WAS ERASED!!!!SCREAM,SCREAM,SCREAM!I DON'T FEEL LIKE RE-WRITING EVERYTHING:-(... O.K.,O.K....I hope you are o.k. with everything concerning your mother, her intentions were in the right place...I know that everything will be fine concerning our our work schedules we'll be fine! I had a lot more to say...bye! I love you...

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Tue May 6 13:50:05 EDT 1997
Comments:
Hey,there... How are you doing? I am great!!!!I am actually in a really great mood and intend to be that way when I see you this afternoon. I have a whole new frame of mind, Go with the flow...I just take everything in stride, like this wait list thing, I hope so very much to be accepted but realistically my chances aren't too great, I will take advantage of the opportunities presented here and excel at all I do!!!:-):-) So, happiness is partially a chosen frame of mind, but not entirely...How has your day of sleep been?Did you get your room all finished?I think I am going to dye my hair blonde soon...it should look good...I am not really looking forward to this new job I like my old one, and I like knowing my exact schedule...oh,well...going with the flow(I like using "...").I am still going to apply for the bookstore job unless you want it, if you do then you can have it, if not then I will, let me know. Has your father taken care of things,yet?I am sure he will because you have confidence that he will do so. Things will work out fine. This summer will be great, tons-o-fun!!!we will have a blast, don't you think? When does Elliot leave? Will you miss him? O.K., gotta go. I will see you this afternoon. You make me very happy:-) Love you, Blaire P.S.I hope I hit the right button this time!

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Wed May 7 21:05:45 EDT 1997
Comments:
Hmmm....how long has it been since you've written me? Just a question... don't take me seriously,please. Later...Love ya, Blaire

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Sat May 10 21:23:27 EDT 1997
Comments:
ISN'T IT STRANGE, THE WAY LIFE CHANGES AND THROWS YOU A CURVE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT? IT'S AS IF LIFE IS PRE-DESTINED TO TURN OUT THE OPPOSITE WAY ONE ENVISIONS...For example, we started writing here as a way to communicate (w/out email) so we'd have somewhere to "talk"when I was away at school, and here I am, remaining at I.U....how I want Bryn Mawr to accept me from the Wait List, but realistically I don't see that happening...Everything turns out as it should, I just thought "isn't it strange?"... I love you Blaire

Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Sat May 17 16:05:16 EDT 1997
Comments:
Blaire, hey, what's up? the go with the flow is a good attitude but it should not keep you from showing your true emtoins when something upsets you. i think we both need to swop parents and have a heart to heart chat with them. i am a weenie when it comes to my dad and you are a weenie when it comes to your mom so if we simply just switched everything would be alright. i am sorry i have not wrote you in a long time but whithout me going to classes i am not very often on campus and available to use a computer where i can get connected to the net. i can e-mail you and have but i can not get onto the net from my room. listen i do not want to use anymore of our already precious time up so i will end this letter here. i love you Michael

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Wookie
Date: Sat May 17 16:09:21 EDT 1997
Comments:
Hey, you're a dork...KIDDING!< REALLY I AM NOT< OH YES I AM... I have had a great day, but time is wasting and is of the essence.so this will be a quickie:-)...I love you tremendously

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: All who read this
Date: Mon Aug 4 23:44:50 EDT 1997
Comments:
Just writing one for old times sake ....Michael and I are still together and still immensely happy! Blaire

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Thu Sep 25 19:05:44 EDT 1997
Comments:
Though I doubt you'll chech this anytime soon, I just want you to know,for the record that I still love you deeply and with all of my heart... I am happy here at MHC, it is a great place but would be soo much better were you here...You make me incredibly happy!

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Sun Oct 19 11:16:24 EDT 1997
Comments:
I wish that you'd check this out of the blue, but why would you I am at Mount Holyoke, the greatest and oldest women's college in the country:-) I miss you so very much and can't wait to see you, in less thatn 2 months. Always, Blaire

Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Sun Nov 9 00:27:29 EST 1997
Comments:
Dearest, this is like a history book of our romance...I am sorry that I worried you this evening about all of that. You truly are so important in my life and I miss you dearly as if part of me is gone. the day we will reunite will be a joyous one. I will keep this short for I doubt you will be checking it too often. I love you as ever