Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Wed Oct 2 14:55:32 EDT 1996
Comments:
Blaire,
I found this page while i was touring your homepage. This could be one
way in which we can communicate. We could meet here during designated times
and days. It isn't the same as being here, but it is better than writing
letters that take forever to get where they are going. I hope you can under
stand my frustration in all this. I want you to succeed in everything you
do, but i do not want to let you go. I've never felt this way about anyone
before and i feel as if i should atleast try to keep you home. i know i
will miss you so much and won't see that often. Please do not think that i
will hate you just because you are the one who is going away. I will just
miss you so much and the idea just ?tares? me up inside. I know you can
understand this, because of this summer. To me though this summer was a
cake walk compared to what you going away to college will be like. We were
able to see each other a lot and could talk on the phone vitually everyday.
When you go off to school we will not be able to see each at all and will
have no money dispite what you say about working to afford talking on the
phone very often. I will however come to terms with this and will find out
some way in which we can talk on the phone more often. I want you to know
i love you and will not let you go so easily. I have know for a long time
you were going to leave me, but last night it finally hit how much it is
really going to suck. Anyway, this page could help us in communicating
and doing it for free. Well i have written enough so i must let you go
so i may go and meet you at your bus stop.
I love you with
all my heart and soul
Michael
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Fri Oct 4 23:09:44 EDT 1996
Comments:
Michael:
There should be another message...I just want to see if this one will save.
From: Blaire
I love you. Thankyou for that haert touching letter...
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Oct 9 13:52:36 EDT 1996
Comments:
I see that you haven't been back to visit this site, neither has anyone else
So I don't think we're bothering too many people...
I'm glad we've reached more of an understanding concerning this college
thing, though I don't think that we're all the way there yet. I hope you
don't keep any of your feelings about this from me. I need to hear any and all
concerns that you have or may have in the future. They're important.
The above mentioned letter that you wrote helped ease some of the feelings
that are going on, but I don't think I'll be totally ok with leaving unless
you're alright with it. I really don't think that either one of us will
ever be totally at ease with this. I think we'll just have to make the
best of whatever comes to be (wherever I go).
When it comes down to it my main concern isn't if you & I will be able to
handle being seperated, because I think if both want it to work then it will
I know that it'll be hell being apart from you because I'll miss you SO SO
much. that is what will be the worst, just being away from you--all other
things aside.
I love you so much that being away from you for a million years, a million
miles away would not make my feelings change. You are my everything, that is the only
way to say it.
With Love,
Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Oct 9 13:52:36 EDT 1996
Comments:
I see that you haven't been back to visit this site, neither has anyone else
So I don't think we're bothering too many people...
I'm glad we've reached more of an understanding concerning this college
thing, though I don't think that we're all the way there yet. I hope you
don't keep any of your feelings about this from me. I need to hear any and all
concerns that you have or may have in the future. They're important.
The above mentioned letter that you wrote helped ease some of the feelings
that are going on, but I don't think I'll be totally ok with leaving unless
you're alright with it. I really don't think that either one of us will
ever be totally at ease with this. I think we'll just have to make the
best of whatever comes to be (wherever I go).
When it comes down to it my main concern isn't if you & I will be able to
handle being seperated, because I think if both want it to work then it will
I know that it'll be hell being apart from you because I'll miss you SO SO
much. that is what will be the worst, just being away from you--all other
things aside.
I love you so much that being away from you for a million years, a million
miles away would not make my feelings change. You are my everything, that is the only
way to say it.
With Love,
Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Oct 9 13:52:36 EDT 1996
Comments:
I see that you haven't been back to visit this site, neither has anyone else
So I don't think we're bothering too many people...
I'm glad we've reached more of an understanding concerning this college
thing, though I don't think that we're all the way there yet. I hope you
don't keep any of your feelings about this from me. I need to hear any and all
concerns that you have or may have in the future. They're important.
The above mentioned letter that you wrote helped ease some of the feelings
that are going on, but I don't think I'll be totally ok with leaving unless
you're alright with it. I really don't think that either one of us will
ever be totally at ease with this. I think we'll just have to make the
best of whatever comes to be (wherever I go).
When it comes down to it my main concern isn't if you & I will be able to
handle being seperated, because I think if both want it to work then it will
I know that it'll be hell being apart from you because I'll miss you SO SO
much. that is what will be the worst, just being away from you--all other
things aside.
I love you so much that being away from you for a million years, a million
miles away would not make my feelings change. You are my everything, that is the only
way to say it.
With Love,
Blaire
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Fri Oct 18 22:57:27 EDT 1996
Comments:
Hey baby,
Tonight has been alot of fun and i thank yo for bringing me into your
activities. Why are you reading over my shoulder you stupid idiot.
anyway, i just wanted to write you back and let you know that i care
for you very much and i will just have to come to terms with you leaving
it does suck but i think that if we really work at it, better than others i
have seen we will be able to do it. i am beginning to understand your view on this
whole thing and i am coming to terms with it all.
I LOVE YOU
VERY MUCH
MICHAEL
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Oct 23 08:40:59 EDT 1996
Comments:
I'm so glad that you're undertandng things better now--it makes me feel
a lot better just knowing that. I KNOW that we can make this thing work
it'll be tough, but anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
So when this college thing is all said and done, and we've survived being
apart then we'll be much stronger because of it. Aside from that it will
suck being away from you. I missed you like crazy when we were apart for
only two weeks this summer...but we'll be alright. thank you for trying
with me on this one, it means the world to me that you care so much. That
is only one of the reasons I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Blaire
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Wed Oct 23 15:24:20 EDT 1996
Comments:
Blaire,
i hope no one is getting angry about us using this page to write our
secret letters. anyway, i just want you to know that it will take we awhile
to understand and come to terms with this whole college thing. i have known
for awhile yo would be going away but then i did not have to deal with it.
now i do. the reason i am giving you so much crap about going to a small
school is that i do not want you to make a mistake based on not understanding
everything a large school offers. i must also understand that a feeling
of comfortableness you felt at bryn mawr is important as well. all i want
is your happiness and i am not trying to persuade you to go to i.u. frankly
i hope you get into harvard. Then i can brag to all of my friends about my
girlfriend that is smart enogh to attend there. I hope you are happy
wherever you go to school. i am serious about moving and teaching in the
state you attend school. i am not sure however whether i will do this for
your undergraduate studies or the other. will see what state i am in
regarding my career. well i have to go and meet with you. i love you with
all my heart and soul.
your frognan,
Michael
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Tue Oct 29 07:54:17 EST 1996
Comments:
hi, there! I think this should be renamed the Blaire & Michael page or something
like that since we are the only ones who ever post anything. I was
reading over the things you wrote me before and in the first one you you
mentioned something about knowing that I was going to leave you for a long
time--that isn't how it is. I'm not doing this to leave you, I'm NOT
leaving YOU, I'm going away to school. Though I guess it's one in the same
but I'm not going so that I can leave you, that is as far from the truth as
one could get. As far as understanding all of this we may not ever fully
be able to (understand), but we'll come to terms with it, eventually.
It's really amazing exactly how great you and I are together. We've been
together for a relatively long amount of time and we haven't had many
problems. We're doing well! I love being with you, I'm the luckiest person
for having you in my life. Thank you. You are wonderful, sweet, and
incredibly funny, sensitive, giving, intelligent and of course gorgeous (sexy)
You knoe this already though --I'm sure. I have to get to class now. I'll
see you this afternoon. I LOVE YOU. Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Oct 30 07:46:13 EST 1996
Comments:
THANKS SO MUCH FOR LEAVING ME A MESSAGE AFTER YOU READ YOURS!!!! Thanks
so much... I don't know what to say since you left nothing for me to
respond to! Spending time with you was great yesterday. Ummm, Hmmm,...
OK I'm not writing anymore until you write to me. I'll see you this
afternoon. :) Love, Blaire
Name: Michael Martin.
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Wed Oct 30 14:19:29 EST 1996
Comments:
hey, i am sorry i did not write you back the other day, but when i read your
message i was in a hurry to go and see you. yes, spending time with me was
great last night, wasn't it. just kidding. everyday i try and narrow down
my feelings towards this whole college thing. i know you are not leaving me, but
you are going awwy and i must deal with this. i think the reason i have a
problem with you leaving is i am scared. i have come to realize how much
you truly do love me, but you will be far away. I am afaraid that you'll
will become good freinds with whoever and not intentionally become involved
with them. i know, this is stupid. i know you must feel the same way and so my
question to you is how do you cope with it. how do you handle the idea that
i will be far away from you and may become close to some other girl. maybe if
i saw how you handle it, i could deal with it better. it's just that i feel so
lucky to have met you and to have you in my life that i am afraid my luck may
run out. i am scared that when you go away your feelings will not seem as
strong as they do with me here. i don't know. i am i crazy for having these
feelings or what. well i better go so i will not be late in meeting you at
the bus stop. i hope you read this soon and write me back t let me know how
you feel about all of this.
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Thu Oct 31 07:42:21 EST 1996
Comments:
How do I respond to this one? Oh, my goodness, how do I cope with the idea
of you meeting another girl when I'm away? I don't!! Just the thought of
it makes me seeth! Maybe i'm not in touch with reality, but that hasn't
been a huge concern of mine. I KNOW that there isn't anything or anyone
that could make me stop loving you or anyone that I would ever want to
be with besides you. I had no idea that you felt this way...OK, the way I
deal with is knowing that our love and the bond we have is so strong that
there is anyone that could come between that-- unless we wanted it to.
MY concern has always been not that you meet someone else & just fall in
love with that person, but that we end up having all kinds of problems that
can't be fixed because I'm far away& that we break up & THEN you find
someone else & because I'd be far awy there would be no way for me to make
you realize that I love you with all of my heart and soul and that you
should be with ME! I just think that we'd have to havce this relationship
turn to complete hell before either one of us considered being with
someone else. If I go away & either of us just meets someone else and
BAM we want to be with that person then that would just show that what we
have isn't strong at all, but we both know what we have is wonderful and
beautiful and strong. It's not something I"d EVER let go of without
a fight. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ALWAYS. You are my everything and life would
be meaningless without you in it. I hve to get to class, now. I'll see you
this afternoon. WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS, it's too big a deal not to.
I need you to know that I'll never leave you and that any other guy always
pales in comparison to you...nothing could cause me to ever want to be
apart from you...distance or anything. I love you, my darling ( had to
say it). Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Fri Nov 1 20:11:03 EST 1996
Comments:
I know you haven't written back yet, but I thought I'd leave you something
to read when you returned to this page... I had a really good time at the
party on Thursday, though I wish that I could've stayed and partied (sp?)
longer. I knw you'll see me before you read this, but I hope you like my
hair...it was a spur of the moment thing. We haven't talked about that
thing. though if you don't want to then I guess we won't. I'll see you
tomorrow (Saturday). I love you, you are my sunshine:) Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Mon Nov 4 07:39:03 EST 1996
Comments:
Since I was here I thought I'd leave a quick note... How did the nominations
go? I know that you'll win, because there couldn't be and isn't anyone
better than you! I hope you write soon, so that I can read all of the
wonderful things you have to say. I know this message is stupid, but
it's early in the morning and it's difficult to think...
I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH... Blaire
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Mon Nov 4 14:15:58 EST 1996
Comments:
hey babe, i think you are starting to get into this now. you are visiting
this page more than i am. i know we did not talk about anything this weekend
but why don't we save some time this weekend to do so. i had a lot of fun
at the party on thursday and yes i wish you could have stayed longer.
saturday was great too and i enjoy them more each weekend. Jason finally showed
up on sunday, around 6:oopm. chapter went great. i did not have to give any
speaches, that will be next week. this week alli had to do was get nominated
i was and i am running against one other person. the only reason i believe he
ran is because no one else was going to and our house frowns on white ballots.
i am looking good so far though and next week i will have to give some kind
of presentation and guess what. you get to help me with it this weekend.
i mean, will you help me with it this weekend? i would greatly appreciate you
assistance. if there is anything i can do friday to help you, just let me
know. the rest of the time i will try to keep blaine out of your hair by
entertaining him with movies, cd's, and board games. can you work on finding
the real monopoly for me this week so it is there this weekend. i hope you
get to take a shower by this weekend, boy do i ever. JUST KIDDIN!!!! i am
still blushing from all the stuff you wrote in your two previous letters.
where did all that come from anyway? i want you to know that i love you very
much and i do so more every day i do and don't get to see you.
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin--the love god
Date: Mon Nov 4 21:05:47 EST 1996
Comments:
Hithere! thanks for writing back--I enjoy hearing from you. I don'tknow
why I'm writing now when I could be staring at your face and talking to you
Oh I know why-it's because YOU NEED TO STUDY & I'd just be in your hair.
What things in the other letters made you blush? Just curious... As far as
the showering thing goes I don't think I"m going to all this week just so
you can enjoy me even more this weekend!! HA HA-I'm kidding. We take them
at michael's and Rhea's houses. Concerning the talking thing, we did talk
about a lot of stuff, and that was great, we just didn't talk about our
concerns about me going away to college. We never really have, only once
this summer. I don't see why we don't talk about it. I kind of think
that it'll keep until it's the "right" time to talk about it, but there
never is a right time. Whenever I've brought up important things, I've
tried to wait until that right moment,but things have always gotten
messed up ( remember the first time I told you that I loved you?, well
that was something that I planned to tell you at the right time, and look
how that turned out.) So, we have nothing to be afraid of in talking
this, I feel safer talking to you than I do to anyone else in the world.
That is the complete truth. I share more with you than I have with anyone
else in the world. I really loved how we took so much time talking this
weekend, nothing planned , it just came naturally, like everything does
with us.
I will definantly help you with your election stuff, whatever you
need me to do I will. That's a promise. I haven't for sure checked on
this weekend, whether or not you'll be over on Friday or Saturday, I'll
let you know. I have to go and talk to you now, I"ve spent too much time
on this computer ANd not enough down there with you. I love you with all
of my heart and all of my soul. You are the only one for me. Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Nov 6 07:48:48 EST 1996
Comments:
This is cool, I didn't realize that the other messsage that I wrote on
Monday actually got posted that is great... Thank you for inviting me
to go to your grandmothers with you, I appreciate the offer. I actually
like meeting your family, I'm just nervous that's all. I have yet to
ask my mom about it, but I will. About Saturday, my mom is dropping me
off with the laundry, it is on 7th and Washington. You'll probably have
to just meet me there. Is that ok? You really made me feel better when
I was spazzing over my SAT scores, thank you. YOu have this way of just
making me feel better just being near me. You are sooo wonderful, I love
you more than words could ever express... Write back soon. Blaire
P.S.: I'll help you figure out your hair stuff if you'd like me to.
I'll do whatever you want me to.
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Wed Nov 6 13:28:37 EST 1996
Comments:
hey babe, i must admit i am a little weary about disussing this topic. every
time we do we get into an arugment and become very angry with each other. i
enjoyed studying with you monday, maybe this is something we can do on a
regular basis. we would have to do it other than monday because of my late class
i can not continue to skip it. i hope you enjoy you shower. take a long, hot
and wet one for me too. i am sorry, but there isn't any hot topic to talk about
this time so i am going to make this one short. i am glad you are fealing
better about you SAT scores. i will talk to you tonight. michael
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Fri Nov 8 07:46:31 EST 1996
Comments:
Thanks for making me blush, but that's ok! I don't recall getting angry
when we've discussed this--only the large vs. small school thing, but not
about our feelings. If we just listen OPENLY to eachother then I think it
wqould be fine. Why did you skip that class? I didn't know that you were
skipping, now I feel bad for keeping you from going to class. I seem
to have a negative effect on your academic life. I apologize. I have to
go, now. Sorry I don't have time to write more. Hey, I almost called you
back last night,because I didn't go to bed until 12, but then I knew I'd
be up ALL night...and I needed sleep. I'll talk to you toight. Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Mon Nov 11 07:28:29 EST 1996
Comments:
Hi, there...I don't have much to say, I just want to say something so that
you know I'm here and thinking of you (as always). I love spending time
with you. It seems like the more we're together the easier everthing is.
We have a great ability to do whatever we choose when we're together and
have an enjoyable time regardless of the activity. I want to apologize for
being such a spazz lately, I really haven't allowed myself to ever relax
because there's ALWAYS something that needs to be done. Anyways, as a
result I feel that I haven't permitted myself to be as happy and carefree
as I'd like and you end up having to consantly hear me griping about some
aspect of my life. I'm sure you get tired of it. Spending time with you,
though, makes up for all worries & misgivings I have with life. Rarely,am
I anything but blissful when in your presence. ( ok, so that got a little
mushier than I had intended, it wasn't suppose to be at all, sorry).
I hope your Anthroplogy exam went well. Did you give your speech, and did
it go well? I'll tallk to you tonight. I should go, because like I said
I never had much to say & I have to work on my Econ project. I love you
very, very much. Blaire
P.S. Do you think that other people have visited this site, but just left
it alone because it's ours(sort of)? Maybe someone knows the saga of
Michael and Blaire & we don't even know it. Do you think this will still
be here when we're 50? Wouldn't it be great?
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Mon Nov 11 07:29:49 EST 1996
Comments:
Hi, there...I don't have much to say, I just want to say something so that
you know I'm here and thinking of you (as always). I love spending time
with you. It seems like the more we're together the easier everthing is.
We have a great ability to do whatever we choose when we're together and
have an enjoyable time regardless of the activity. I want to apologize for
being such a spazz lately, I really haven't allowed myself to ever relax
because there's ALWAYS something that needs to be done. Anyways, as a
result I feel that I haven't permitted myself to be as happy and carefree
as I'd like and you end up having to consantly hear me griping about some
aspect of my life. I'm sure you get tired of it. Spending time with you,
though, makes up for all worries & misgivings I have with life. Rarely,am
I anything but blissful when in your presence. ( ok, so that got a little
mushier than I had intended, it wasn't suppose to be at all, sorry).
I hope your Anthroplogy exam went well. Did you give your speech, and did
it go well? I'll tallk to you tonight. I should go, because like I said
I never had much to say & I have to work on my Econ project. I love you
very, very much. Blaire
P.S. Do you think that other people have visited this site, but just left
it alone because it's ours(sort of)? Maybe someone knows the saga of
Michael and Blaire & we don't even know it. Do you think this will still
be here when we're 50? Wouldn't it be great?
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Mon Nov 11 14:15:52 EST 1996
Comments:
Hey, thank you for writing me. i admit sometimes i do get a little weary about
hearing your woes, but i like helping you. i like to talk with you about your
worries so i can help and make you feel better. you do the same for me when
i am upset about something. this is what our relationship is all about. speaking
of which i, i totally forgot all about you and i talking this weekend about you
going away to school. it wasn't that i didn't want to talk about it, i just
forgot. i sware. i did not have to give my speech last night i am supposed to
give it next week, i guess. i am glad about this though because i want to
talk to the current secretary about programs he thinks i should initiate or
change. my anthropology test went great. actually i did not have it. right
after i got back to the library i checked my e-mail. i had written my a105
teacher earlier in the week asking her questions about the test. when i checked
my e-mail yesterday she had written me back. she answered all of my questions
and asked me if i was preparing for the test on the 18th. i thought to myself
oh shit the 18th that's next week. so end of story the test is not tonight it
is next week. ISN'T THAT GREAT!!!! i talked with my mother about this and she
does not want me to go next weekend and help my grandmother move since i have
my test next monday. ISN'T THAT GREAT!!! i did remember to call my g-ma though.
my dad seemed impressed that i ma running for secretary, when i told him.
he was worried for a second that it would take up too much of my time, than
i assured him that it would not and he seemed impressed. i think i have a
pretty good chance of winning. well i will let you go so i may work on my
class schedule for next semester. i miss you even a day since have not talked
and i love you very much. Michael
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Tue Nov 12 07:35:29 EST 1996
Comments:
Hi, Michael:
I'm glad everything has turned out better than you had anticipated. Now
you know that you'll kick ass on your test & that speech (which will lead
you to being elected). I know you'll do wonderfully. As far as this
weekend goes, I know you have a lot going on so if you need Saturday to
accomplish these things then use it. I understand that you may need more
time for other activities, now. I don't want to be the cause of you not
succeeding to your full potential. Do you know where I'm coming from? It
isn't that I don't want to see, I just know that you may need to devote
more time to other area's of your life. Just know that you can take the
time you need without worry that you'll upset me. OK?
I forgot, too, to talk about college this weekend. I'm rather tired of
thinking about it (not concerning us, just about college in general). WE'll
talk about it eventually, when it is necessary. It is really strange, but
I have had a persistant feeling that something is not OK. Are we ok? Am I
totally stupid for feeling this? I have no idea where this is coming from.
I don't know... I have to go work on W131, now. I'll see you this afternoon
I love you so very much. Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Nov 13 12:47:51 EST 1996
Comments:
Hi, my Michael: Geez, I think you should write back even if you don't
have much to say. OK? I just like to hear from you, that's all...
Bye,now. Iloveyou. Blaire
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Sat Nov 16 14:03:42 EST 1996
Comments:
Blaire,
isn't this great blaire we have our own page. i realy appreciate
what has been done for us. i wonder if by following along they meen
reading our messages. if they have, that's o.k. not like we put anything
too personal in our letters. i wonder who it was that came up with the
idea to give the worldly romantics our own page. i am having fun today so far
and i am looking forward to seeing romeo and juliet this evening. those
are two kids who were truly romantics. i am sorry about the argument we
had about the sexual preferences of people and what this may or may not mean
about them. i should have known that it was a touchy subject and not to
push my luck. i hope someday we can come to some kind of agreement concerning
this issue. well i will go now because you look like you may fall asleep
any moment. i am sorry i am boring you. talk to ya later,
your studly frogman,
Michael
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Sat Nov 16 14:11:25 EST 1996
Comments:
Hi,there! I was not about to fall asleep ,it's just that I was mesmerized
by your words! That's all... As far as the argument goes, I was the one
that kept pushing it to the limit, and I am the one that made it personal
( though I hadn't intended to do that). And I really don't think we'll
ever agree on this issue, unless one of us gives in and I know it won't be
me and I don't think it'll be you either--you're rather opinionated your
self--you just don't enjoy "arguing" like I do... I DO NOT get mad I'm
just passionate about what I feel, at least on this issue. We don't have
agree on everything, no one does. It is cool that we have our own page and
that Serendip was so considerate as to do this for us,and not just erase our
letters forever. I can't think of much more to say, so I'll go, now and
spend time talking to you instead of writing on the computer and having you read
it as I go along. Love, Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: MIchael Martin
Date: Sun Nov 17 19:28:27 EST 1996
Comments:
I'm sooo pissed! This STUPID computer won't let me retrieve my mail or
even get to that site for that matter. It keeps teeling me that Netscape
has set up a General Protection Fault. This is quite irritating, I've had to
re-start my computer 7 or 8 times... (Anyways)...
This weekend was perfect (with the exception of that little argument), I'm
glad that we ended up seeing Romeo & Juliet,and I'm even more glad that
you liked it so well. It was a superb movie.
I'm so very happy that we talked about those things. I didn;t even
really know that I was thinking that much about it... I mean it wasn't
something that I was thinking about and thought that I needed to tell you ,
it was just something that came up. Thank you for giving me time to
figure out everything that I want. I really appreciate that.You know how I
feel & I know how you feel. the more I've thought about it the more I
realize that thtere isn't a need to rush & from what you told me in the car
when you were taking me home I realized you probably feel that way too. The
feeling of winning over "temptation" is definantly a good one. I think
maybe that is more important to you than you even think.
About the college thing... We deserve an award for trying so hard
to relive each others fears. Though I don't know how much was accomplished.
I have figured out a way to look at this thing: We both have the same basic
fear( about other people becoming important in our lives & "things"
happening) we have both tried so hard to alleviate those fears and we've
both ended up telling each other the same thing. Neither of us is really
hearing what the othr is saying. Am I correct? But I'm teling you not
to worry and in the next breath you're telling me not worry. If we would
take our own advice then we'd be fine. If we put ourselves in each others
place then we'd be O.K.... Pretned you're going away to college and I"m
staying here, Would things happen if you met the most incredible girl in
the world just because I'm not there? If I were staying I wouldn't just
forget about you or fall into someone else's arms. It doesn't work that
way. Something else that came to me, Are we trying to convince ourselves
that nothing is going to happen, on our parts, when I go away? I don't
think I am & I really don't think you are. The big question is:Why are we
being so crazy as to think our love won't be strong enough to survive and
another person could easily replace each of us in our hearts? I trust what
we have too much to honestly say that I think you would do anything or
that I would do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I would not
ever do anything to hurt you. I love you too much for that. I'm afraid
of how much it's going to hurt when I'm not near you though. the distance
will be brutal ( why am I torturing myself like this?) i'llstop this
insanity. I love you passionatly with all that i am and with all of my
heart. Write Back soon. Blaire
Name: Michael
Username:
Subject: Blaire
Date: Mon Nov 18 14:31:11 EST 1996
Comments:
Blaire,
hey girl, what's up. i think you are right. i know that if i went away
there could be no one that would come between us. and i should realize the
same thing goes for you also. i am feeling a lot better about you going away
and although i still do not like it, my fears are subsiding. i now just
do not like the idea that you will be far away from me and that i will not
be able to hold you or anything for so long. yes i believe we can still communicate
over e-mail or whatever but nothing compare to expressing our affection than
a good hug from someone you love. this is going to hurt me alot, but i know
that when you do come home i will crush you with my strength and enthusiasm.
the elections did not go so well. everyone who did show up for the muldoon
episode(only about 15 people) were really angry at the rest of us and i think
took it out on us by not voting us into office. i am told it was a close race
and that it came down to just a few votes. i believe i did great in my speech
i didn't read it word for word, but i expressed it just as well. i am getting
pretty frustrated though, with the muldoon thing and the elections. i am
beginning to think that we will all continue to be fucked up the ass about
this whole thing forever and never forgiven. i was walking with one of the
brothers who stayed for the initiation and he was quiet, did not say much,and
as soon as he saw a way to get away from me(the bus) he jumped on it without
barely uttering a goodbye or see ya later. what the fuck? i have to stand up
in front of J-board wednesday and tell them why i did not attend and they will
probably fine me , but if i have to pay a little money or do a little extra
cleaning to keep my dignity i believe it was worth it and i would do it all
over againg. i love you and i wish you were here. Michael
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Tue Nov 19 07:31:08 EST 1996
Comments:
Michael, I'm so very sorry that luck was not in your favor and that you
got unfairly fucked! I was afraid for you that something like this was
going to happen, but I also knew that you had to do what was right in that
situation--and you protested against what you thought was wrong, took a
stand to let others really know how you felt. From what you told me your
words fell on deaf ears, and however the outcome they will you know that
do not suppport this decision & probably dislike(o.k., hate) him even more
now. I hope they aren't hard on you, or I'll have to come and kick their
asses(sp?). It is yet another injustice to you and all that abstained from
attending, that you are actually having disciplinary action being taken,
just because you stood up for yourself. That is bullshit. I'm sorry
that things turned out this way for you, but don't lose hope that you will
one day be able to change things & don't give in just because they try to
break you (random note: Upon reading over this so far it sounds like I'm
some important speech, Sorry--it's the only way I can express what I need
to say.) If it's worth anything I'm proud that you did this, and as far as
the elections go I'm sorry you weren't elected, but there is always next
year. It came down to what was more important & from how you sound it
seems like you made the right choice as to the battle you chose to fight.
About the fines and stuff: Is this action being taken against everyone
else involved? or is it just you and a few chosen others? Is there
anything else you can do. And that brother that was treating you like shit,
that's just rude because there are people that you don't agree with,but you
don't act like that towards them. IF I can do anything for you or you need
anyone to talk to( I'm always here for that), just call at any time. I'll
be sure to answer the phone, whatever the time.I promise(unless I'm so
asleep that I don't hear it, but that probably won't happen). I love you
and am here for you always for anything. Love, Blaire
Name: Blaire
Username:
Subject: Michael
Date: Tue Nov 19 18:13:15 EST 1996
Comments:
I just wanted to let you know that I do in fact want to spend the day with
you on Saturday. I'll have 4 days next week to sleep in and I may not see
you for about 2 weeks if I am no table to spend Thanksgiving with you and
your family. Sorry I couldn't e-mail this, but the computer keeps
denying me access. Oh, about the other message, ignore all the stupid
stuff, it did sound pretty bad but I tried! Talk to you later. Love, Blaire
Name: Michael Martin
Username:
Subject: Blaire Eveland
Date: Fri Nov 22 14:19:12 EST 1996
Comments:
Blaire, i am sorry i have not written you for a while but the time i do this
is furing my w200 class and i have been working on my home page. by the way
your picture is on my page, but the page is not posted yet. i will show it
to you this weekend. i am also sorry i have not called you either. this
week has been so busy full of late nights and such. i tried (about 2 a.m.)
to call you last night but your dad answered and i knew he would not appreciate
me calling so late, but your letter did say anytime, so i decided to take
you up on that offer. i will call you tonight and let you know everything that
has been going on in my life and make plans for saturday. i love you so much
and i feel so bad for not being able to talk with this week, but this I week
stuff is intense and long lasting. don't worry about saturday the week will
be over by then and there will just be some brother hanging out drinking and stuff
we can or not hang out with them. i am going to cut this message short because
i must go register by. i love you. michael**
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Mon Nov 25 11:55:14 EST 1996
Comments:
Michael, It's so funny! I was reading over other comments that we had
posted to each other & one of us said this (playground) should be renamed
the "Michael & Blaire" page. Well, it almost is, it is our site, now.
I figured out the phone mystery and why I didn't wake up when you called:
the ringer was turned off on my phone fo rsome reason. I turned back onto
high. So, next time I SHOULD wake. I'm sorry, though, that I didn't get your
call.
To be honest I'm nervous about Thanksgiving--I never know what to say or
how to act. I don't want to end up following you around at like a little
puppy dog or anything like that. I'm sure it'll be fine. It has been ok
the other times that I participated in your family functions. And the more
I do this the less nervous I'll become... I have to go. I love you. There
is something I sort of want to discuss with you, maybe, but if you read this
today, on Monday, then I don't want to discuss it today. IT's something that
needs a little time to talk about. I'm just telling you this now, not to
drive you insane, but to make myself actually talk & now that yo know you won't
let me get out of it...
I'm going now. I'll see you this afternoon. With love, Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Wed Nov 27 13:37:40 EST 1996
Comments:
MIchael, Hi, there!
Even though you have been lax in your responses back to me I decided to
write to you, just because I love you so very much!!!! I know, that was
corny! Bethany wants to hang out at your house to see Nathan,soon, I said
I would have to check with you first( of course). I think you and I could
hang out on a Friday night and then you & I and Bethany can hang out the
next day so she can see him. What do you think? Just let me know...
I'm writing this on Wednesday & am sort of sick & hope I feel better
for tomorrow. I'll see you soon. Love, Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: MIchael Martin
Date: Wed Dec 11 12:44:13 EST 1996
Comments:
I can't believe that it has been so long since you and I have been here,
almost a month!!! We shouldn't let that happen again. I just want to tell
you that I'm going to miss you like crazy over break and I love you very
much. Yours truly, Blaire
Name: Blaire Eveland
Username:
Subject: Michael Martin
Date: Mon Dec 16 07:33:42 EST 1996
Comments:
Michael, Why haven't you visited me here for so long? I'm just wondering,
that's all. I love you. Yours, Blaire